What do you write in condolency cards?

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

plantagenet — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 17:43:01 GMT

You are right, and I hold my hand up to this sloppy error - an amalgam of 'sympathy' and 'condolences' , there probably will be such a word one day.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Robin Grimmer — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 14:34:21 GMT

Can we just clear up one thing? There is no such word as condolency is there?

It's condolence(s).

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Tanya Fielding — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 12:58:05 GMT

our nurses do the sympathy cards they are much better at it than me. Clients do appreciate them

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Amanda Nicholls — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 12:50:28 GMT

[quote user="Evelyn Barbour-Hill"]

I don't send "condolency cards". I express whatever words of comfort seem appropriate at the time of the euthanasia but I doubt if clients want to be badgered by follow-up cards that must fairly obviously be not altogether sincere. Many would be able to see that the real message was "when you get your next pet, don't forget to bring it to US".

If I really wish to send condolences, I write a letter.

[/quote]

I almost always send hand written condolence cards with a short message. It doesn't take long or cost much to do and hopefully helps owners when they are grieving. In some situations (e.g. young cat killed in an RTA belonging to a really nice client), I send flowers. This is from an email I received this morning

Dear Amanda,

Thank you for your card and condolences.That was very kind and thoughtful. I hope that when the next cat walks into my life, and I'm sure that one will, we'll meet again under happier circumstances.

I hope he didn't feel that the real message was "when you get your next pet, don't forget to bring it to US" and that the reason he will bring the next cat to us is because we met all his expectations as an owner. Every interaction we have with clients we are doing our best to ensure they come back to us again that's how we survive as businesses.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Martin Atkinson — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 13:22:34 GMT

[quote user="Arlo Guthrie"][quote user="Gerry Henry"]

I used to date their nanny, no idea why I'm telling you this.

[/quote] Really?? And if so, do you think Lucan did it?

[/quote]

I reckon it was her boyfriend!

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Gerry Henry — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 09:15:05 GMT

[quote user="Arlo Guthrie"][quote user="Gerry Henry"]

I used to date their nanny, no idea why I'm telling you this.

[/quote] Really?? And if so, do you think Lucan did it? There was a documentary a few years ago in which they tried to create the trial as they thought it would have gone, if Lucan hadn't absconded. They used just the evidence that would have been available at the time. Must say, it was by no means an open and shut case.

[/quote]

Pretty sure he did but I doubt the suicide bit; probably sheltered somewhere by Aspinall and the Carlton clique until a natural death supervened.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Gerry Henry — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 09:12:22 GMT

[quote user="Evelyn Barbour-Hill"]

[quote user="Gerry Henry"]

I used to date their nanny, no idea why I'm telling you this.

[/quote]

What, poor Sandra Rivett?

[/quote]

Crikey, the thought never occurred to me you might think it was THAT nanny - jeez I'm not that bloody old, no, her replacement, lovely girl, sigh.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Arlo Guthrie — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:47:31 GMT

[quote user="Gerry Henry"]

I used to date their nanny, no idea why I'm telling you this.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Evelyn Barbour-Hill — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:56:24 GMT

[quote user="Gerry Henry"]

I used to date their nanny, no idea why I'm telling you this.

[/quote]

What, poor Sandra Rivett?

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Gerry Henry — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:26:05 GMT

I used to date their nanny, no idea why I'm telling you this.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Arlo Guthrie — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:22:52 GMT

[quote user="Judith Joyce"]Euthanasia faux pas:[/quote]

Which reminds me of: Dead parent dinner party faux pas

After dinner at my Aunt's house some years ago, we moved into the sitting room, and I started playing a game of backgammon with the girl I'd sat next to for dinner.

"So", I said, "What does your Dad do?"

In the background, I see my Aunt mouthing the word "No" at me.

"He died", said the girl.

"Oh dear", I said, "That's sad. So has mine."

By now, my Aunt is waving like mad, mouthing noooooo"

I was undeterred. "So how did your's die?", I asked.

By now, my Aunt is letting off distress flares!

I discovered later that it was Lord Lucan's daughter.

Oops.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Judith Joyce — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:10:04 GMT

Euthanasia faux pas:

Some years ago I saw a regular client with a different dog. In conversation, I asked, "And how is Rex?" The reply came, "Rex? You put him to sleep six months ago. As far as we know, he is still dead"

Malcolm N

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Martin Atkinson — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 11:13:27 GMT

We use pre-printed cards from Vet Direct which say: 'With deepest sympathy on the loss of your companion'. We then personalise it with staff signatures and usually a little note saying if they have a photo of Fido we would be pleased to put it in a our book of condolence. The nurses run the book and often the owners will write a little eulogy to go with the picture, if they don't the nurses will. These cards come with pictures of a number of breeds of dogs and colours of cats so we can often get one that looks like the actual pet. They don't get sent to everyone but all bonded clients get one, the one-off PTS or clients who have 'convenience' killings don't.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

svn — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 00:13:03 GMT

[quote user="svn"]

In my days as a SVN I occasionally would, for a very much known and loved patient, drop a card off at the home. This was for the patients who loved me and I loved them - the few special ones - we've all had them..... the ones that wag their whole body when they spot you... the ones that make you smile despite your crap day and their crap condition... the one's that make it worth it!

[/quote]

We've all been there........... the special ones...

They make it worthwhile! :D

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

svn — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 00:07:07 GMT

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Stephen Courtney — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 22:13:44 GMT

Before I do a PTS or see an appointment with a client I haven't seen for a while - I check their list of animals to see if any were recently deceased...and if I was the vet ....I have an awful memory for names and faces and there is nothing more embarrassing than for the client to realise you have actually forgotten something that was such a traumatic event in their lives.

So I certainly check records before writing a condolence card or letter!

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Joyce Whitehead — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 20:39:50 GMT

I was quite sceptical about these when they first appeared on the scene (probably around 20 years ago as someone said), but have been using them for some years, and for most cases (except as others have mentioned, for cases where the owner has been somewhat neglectful). We get very good feedback, the clients really like them.

However, we don't use anything but blank cards, mainly of nice flowers/trees/countryside scenes, in which the vet dealing with the PTS will write as they wish, generally including the "thinking of you" sentiment. It is easier in a small practice as we know our clients fairly well in most cases.

The slightly more difficult ones I find to write are those where people have lost two animals in short succession - I try hard to make them look individual for each pet. I think writing something along the lines of "he was a lovely dog" or something similarly personal about their pet helps.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Stephen Courtney — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:33:48 GMT

I do condolence cards if i know the client/ animal or if the situation has had an impact on me. Expediency PTS situations don't get a card ( untreated hyperthyroid 12 yer old 'too old for a blood test etc') I try to vary each card, and make it personal.

Our cards are nice artistic watercolours, and are blank. the vet writes the words, there is nothing generic about the gesture. I have to admit it can be a worry if the client has lost several pets recently...

I always write 'condolence sent' on the history when it goes off - amazing how many clients are upset if they don't get one.

For a PTS such as described, I'd probably not send a card. There is nothing you can say to make it better, that wasn't said when this decision was being arrived at. Or at most I'd send a 'thinking of you' type card.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

bob lehner — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:55:21 GMT

[quote user="Mark Holmes"] "The place won't be the same without you! " when written on leaving cards.[/quote]

Or, 'I think he should go far' on a reference.

I'm afraid I am also a bit of a cynic about pts condolence cards. They seemed to creep in about 20 years ago - I suspect imported by some American business guru giving a pep talk at BSAVA or whatever.

Perhaps a hand written and personalised note from the vet concerned in an appropriate case is OK - but generics churned out by the practice secretary/ manager to me just seem totally insincere.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Mark Holmes — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:02:52 GMT

You can always write something open, my favorite is "The place won't be the same without you! " when written on leaving cards.... now what does that mean?

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Arlo Guthrie — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 10:49:06 GMT

I always think it's impossible to know how someone is feeling following bereavement. I fear that if I go prematurely, my wife and the tennis coach will be having a fireworks and champagne party. In that case, 'so sorry to hear about Arlo' would probably be inappropriate.

I'm joking but my point is that the 'safest' words might be just: 'Our thoughts are with you, from everyone at xxx practice'

That covers every possibility.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Hannah Wynne Richards — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 10:37:03 GMT

I would buy a blankcard,and write something like "I know it was a difficult decision, but you've tried all the alternatives "I don't routinely send cards, as like Evelyn I think it can be somewhat cynical (maybe we're both old-fashioned ) , but do sometimes, and write what seems appropriate tothat client and animal

Wynne

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Gerry Henry — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 10:32:09 GMT

Fido bit the baby's nose, Mummy's thumb, Granpa's toes, then he turned on my old Da, a bite too far and so Ta Ta.

Was that what you were thinking of ... just asking.

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Richard Carter — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 09:48:48 GMT

[quote user="alex gough"]We send condolence cards to every client. Call it cynical/good PR if you like, buy we get a lot of positive feedback from the cards, even cards thanking us for the cards. In fact I recall a complaint from a client who because of an oversight, didn't receive a condolence card[/quote]

had exactly the same experience! We have very good feedback from our cards. We also have a wall for photos if owners want to send in - often arrive with the Christmas cards

Re: What do you write in condolency cards?

Sarah Keir — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 09:15:42 GMT

Thanks to every one who contributed to this post. I usually send out a condolency card after a death or euthanasia unless particular reason (e.g. not seen the cat for 10 years and brought in in end stage hyperthyroidism). We get good feed back from clients about the cards and sometimes get cards thanking us for the card! On balance I think it is better to send one and let the client know that they are not just a passing moment in a busy surgery but that I've taken the time to write a card.

I'm going to start a notebook of appropriate messages for the cards as my mind always goes blank at these times. My mind was defiantely fried after last nights surgery - 4 euthanasias in an hour! I wish I could have gone home for a stiff drink but I was then on duty

Doctor death has entered the building...