Pretend Friends

Re: Pretend Friends

Martin Jones — Thu, 05 May 2011 20:41:15 GMT

Beautiful illustration - one of the said ex- 'friends' who only ever phoned about her pets just phoned - about her neighbour's dog. No preamble this time - just a straight 'can you come round and look at it?' (she'd clearly reassured the neighbour that she had a vet friend who wouldn't mind at all popping round). I explained that I have no drugs at home and, as a locum, no access to any but could have a look.

'Oh', she said, 'it's just that he had a jab from his vet today and now he's gone right off colour'.

'Well then, really he should be phoning his vet for advice as they'll know what's currently going on'

'Oh, he doesn't know who his vet is'.

Yes. He does. I gave her the details of the local OOH centre. Things migth be a little frosty at the school gates for a couple of weeks.......

Re: Pretend Friends

Mark Hedberg — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 07:36:01 GMT

The "drive after 3pm" excuse gets a little transparent in July, doesn't it? ;)

Re: Pretend Friends

Julie Innes — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 00:01:37 GMT

I've recently come across this. Our retired neighbours recently acquired a cat (after dropping in for a loong discussion with myself about the ins and outs of doing so)

They wanted the cat spayed, and they wanted me to do it. At the time I was working 10miles away in practice, but I agreed to collect the cat, take it to work with me (in between dropping 3 children off at 2 different locations), spay it, and return it to them. I considered it a bit of goodwill.

Then on New Years Day they turned up on my doorstep, as I was serving dinner up to my guests (ten people!) and asked if I could come and see the cat. I have no drugs in the house, but I agreed to go and have a look (much to the outrage of my husband, who had already had a few drinks and was waiting for his dinner!) I then ended up going back the next day, and the next, before agreeing to take the cat in to my work. the short version of the long story was that they thought the cat had swallowed a cat toy, and I could feel something per abdomen. Xray showed there could be something, so I called and explained and we ended up doing an ex lap, where all we found were very big mesenteric LNs (obviously what I was feeling/ seeing. problem was, I was only working half day that day, and had to come home to pick up children, walk dogs, prep dinner. So I went to see the neighbours, had a long discussion about the case (they were happy to be told there was no FB) then asked if they could go and pick the cat up from the surgery later on, as I had other comittments. They huffed and puffed and basically expected me to abandom my kids, dogs and dinner to go back to the surgery for their cat, as they didn't "know the way" and didn't like to "drive after 3pm!"

Lesson learned!!

Re: Pretend Friends

Michael Woodhouse — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 22:27:16 GMT

I'm a big believer in making time for people when I can. I have people who ring me up and ask me things, and I have rang my mechanic friend etc in the evening when I've had a problem with my car. I can't expect to get free advice from him yet not give him any in return. In the village we are known more as 'the vets' rather than by our names.

It's good will if nothing else. Often these things can generate some paying work. The only thing I don't tolerate is people ringing me at home to attend an animal when I'm not on call. They get politely told to ring the surgery. That's only happened twice.

Re: Pretend Friends

Dagmar Steele — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 10:08:46 GMT

One of my biggest mistakes is dropping my children off at kindergarden/school....or visiting parents meetings, watching son playing football and so on. All the families have pets, and sure I don't mind answering all their questions for free (I always take my cristall ball)! I don't need to get off to work in time, why should I ?

Re: Pretend Friends

Bob Russell — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 09:51:35 GMT

We live up a very long track that even aspiring political candidates seem unable to come up. Oh! and a great big GSD with a loud bark (all mouth no trousers) tends to stop even the bravest souls from beating a path to our door!

Re: Pretend Friends

Martin Jones — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 22:14:16 GMT

Funnily enough, most complaints seem to be about perfect strangers turning up at one's door with a sick animal - and that's something I have no issues with at all. Generally, I can only help if it involves PTSing wildlife (out the back with a small and very sharp hatchet) but I'm delighted to have a local identity as a vitnery, and as an approachable one at that. And to be fair, most of them are in genuine turmoil and just need some pre-vet advice to reassure them that it's not going to be fatal, but does need seeing.

It's more the people who pretend to be a friend, but who just treat the supposed relationship as an opportunity to save money. And that wouldn't include people like the smallholder who phones for help with lambing, but who always has a spare goose at Christmas, or the heating engineer whose chickens I see to, and who I supply with firewood in return for 'free' boiler services. It's the freeloaders, who know that they're freeloading but don't have the decency to even be honest about it.

Re: Pretend Friends

Kate Richardson — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 19:55:45 GMT

When I moved into my house in a small village (only got a pub but no church or shops so maybe its a hamlet?), had only been there about 1-2 months, one night 'someone' from the 'village' knocked on the door at about 4am on their way to or from the airport, asking if the vet could put a wild rabbit to sleep as she had found it on the road injured/ill! My lodger at the time,very politely (as was his way!) told her that the vet was asleep so no and no necessary drugs in the house.Just as well I slept right through it, as I may have been inclined to tell her to go back to the rabbit and quickly kill it if needs be by asphyxiating it with a fully inflated tyre attached to 1 tonne of metal. Does that make me a bad person?

Re: Pretend Friends

Stephen Courtney — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 15:33:19 GMT

I've recently moved. None of my new neighbours have pets, which is wonderful. But just in case I have told them all in confidence that I'm not very good....

Re: Pretend Friends

Utlendigur — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 12:26:43 GMT

[quote user="Evelyn Barbour-Hill"]

[quote user="Mark Holmes"]to give and receive services as favours. At least the government cannot tax it[/quote]

Ho yus they can, or they will at least try to.

Wait till you get a tax investigation.

[/quote]

I see. If one person helps out another, the taxman will look for a way to take a slice. Suddenly this "Big Society" idea becomes so much clearer - it's just another way to raise some tax revenue

Re: Pretend Friends

Mark Holmes — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 11:25:07 GMT

[quote user="Evelyn Barbour-Hill"]

[quote user="Mark Holmes"]to give and receive services as favours. At least the government cannot tax it[/quote]

Ho yus they can, or they will at least try to.

Wait till you get a tax investigation.

[/quote] Really? So if I give a friend some advice on his dog and in return he fixes my computer the tax man wants something..... The bastard! Well in the same spirit I will clip his dogs claws for nothing

Re: Pretend Friends

Jillian Hall — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 09:58:36 GMT

An ex of mine gets in touch quite regularly. The conversation always follows the following pattern. The last sentence may vary but only with regard to whihc dog is currently ailing.

"Hey you. Hows things?"

"Fine. Which one is it this time?"

"No, no it's not like that. Oh well actually, the doberman has cut his foot and it's now got pus coming out....."

Re: Pretend Friends

Evelyn Barbour-Hill — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 22:28:21 GMT

[quote user="Mark Holmes"]to give and receive services as favours. At least the government cannot tax it[/quote]

Ho yus they can, or they will at least try to.

Wait till you get a tax investigation.

Re: Pretend Friends

Derek Lyon — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 12:38:52 GMT

Years ago when in practice had a very worried neighbour called at our house some 50 yards away! Dog in bad way and trapped by it's head in their metal gate! We were just about to have Sunday lunch...and no I was not on duty! Ran across road cut dog free from gate and owners pleased!

Point is they never even offered to pay me in any way. Don't you just love them

Re: Pretend Friends

Bob Russell — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 10:37:35 GMT

I have an ex-wife (more than one actually) but this one only seems to desire contact when something is wrong especially with her dogs, Don't you love them?

Well - actually no!

Re: Pretend Friends

Clive Ansell — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 18:36:19 GMT

P*** off, I'm not at work is quicker, easier and more to the point.

Re: Pretend Friends

Hannah Wynne Richards — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 18:18:03 GMT

Keep the Gto PC at home, and say charmingly "I'd love to advise you but I'm forbidden to say anything without contacting your normalveterinary surgeon 1st "-and show them the appropriate page

Wynne

Re: Pretend Friends

Gillian Mostyn — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 18:11:36 GMT

A couple of years ago my neighbour knocked at my door and presented me with a faecal stained tissue containing a wriggling roundworm. She wanted to know what it was and what she should do about it. I wish I could have said what I really wanted to say.........

Re: Pretend Friends

Clive Ansell — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 16:51:31 GMT

I'll do it, and go the extra mile for genuine friends and family, but any others get told to B***** off. I keep professional and private life separate and time off is just that.

I once had a family with 2 young children, who I had never met before, from the nearest village appear on my doorstep at 2230 one Sunday asking if "I could check out their collapsed rabbit, as they didn't really want to pay OOH fees at their usual vet" and "how pleased they were that a vet was living nearby". I explained that I was off work, off duty and in any event had no equipment or drugs at home - so p*** off to you own vet and annoy him/her.

Re: Pretend Friends

Mark Holmes — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 16:36:32 GMT

You could turn it on its head, I don't mind giving people a bit of superficial advice, it usually revolves around "speak to your vet or come to the clinic" but then in return I will request favours from them. I'm not sure that its necessarily better to be shuttered up in our houses refusing to help each other than to give and receive services as favours. At least the government cannot tax it where as if you both swap services for money they take a hefty chunk.

Re: Pretend Friends

Dagmar Steele — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 16:11:55 GMT

My favourite topic :-) Weeding them out is the only way to go, and I've lost ever so many "friends" over the years without regretting it at all. But be assured, we are not alone. My father was a notary (I hope this is the right translation) and solicitor and he detested them like the plague. Other professions get them, too, not only craftsmen but think of all the computer-skilled ones :-)

But I really hate them, I find it absolutely disgusting how ruthless people can be. I have children in kindergarden and school and none of the lovely parents would take the drive to my practice as it's half an hours drive away, but all of them expect me to chime in on weekends and evenings to avoid paying OOH fees. I don't have many meds at home so I really have to turn most of them away for that reason alone, but I would anyway. I get upset enough when they keep me on the phone for half an hour in my spare time just to find out that they want to know if I think Bella should be spayed or not?

You see, I could go ranting for quite some time here