Strange calls

Re: Strange calls

Chris Barker — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:15:23 GMT

I know we seem to have more than our fair share of the mentally challenged but this is our best call to date

Caller ' There's a black and white bird sitting on my back fence.... Do you think it might be a penguin...?'

Re: Strange calls

Martin Atkinson — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:08:25 GMT

Several months after she'd had her dog PTS and buried it in her own garden I got a call in the middle of the night from a client who was at the best of times a little odd to say the least. She'd apparently just had a dream that ants were making a nest in her dog's head and was worried that this meant her spirit wouldn't leave so it would be forever entombed and she wanted me to go round right then and dig the dog up for her!!!!! With amazing quick thinking with a half-awake brain I suppressed my true thoughts and placated her by saying that I was sure dog's spirits leave as they die and the ants know this so they wouldn't make their nest if the spirit was still there, so she had nothing to be concerned with.

Re: Strange calls

bob lehner — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 09:56:52 GMT

1.00 am 'phone rings, distraught young lady on the other end, 'Help, help, please can you see our dog, he's just swallowed a condom and we just don't know what to do!'

Vet swears under his breath, climbs out of bed and gets dressed to meet them at the surgery.

Just leaving the house when the 'phone rings again. Same lady. 'Don't worry, panic over - we managed to find another one'.

Re: Strange calls

Fiona French — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 22:46:33 GMT

A favourite of mine was a 3am phone call, from someone who had just got home from a party:

Him: "my dog has just had a fit"

Me: "ok, can you describe what happened?"

Him: "well, he was asleep, then his face started twitching, then his legs started moving as if he were trying to run, then he made these weird little barking noises. I shook him and he came straight out of it and he seems fine now"

Me: "sounds more like a dream than a fit to me.........."

Him: "oh yeah, now you mention it........."

Re: Strange calls

Anonymous — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 21:59:03 GMT

this friday night just gone.

2.30am client rings in a blind panic, her cat has been in a fight and has a wound on her side and her guts are hanging out, she is 5 minutes from the surgery and wants to be see (understandably). sounds bad, I agree to see her but it takes me 15minutes to get to the surgery.

On exam the cat is bright and happy , the client points out the wound and the guts hanging out, they are still moving - I examine the wound and its a slug attached to the fur trying to escape. i remove the offending slug and return home to sleep.

don't you just love being on call!

Re: Strange calls

Catherine Williams — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 13:11:28 GMT

My best is a Sunday afternoon call from a client wanting to know if his cat was dead. Usual questions, "what happened?" etc, turns out it was run over on Friday, he dodn't want the kids to see it so buried it in the garden, has spent the whole weekend worrying was it dead?

Cue lots of reasssuring

Sooo tempted to say well if it wasn't it will be by now

Re: Strange calls

Mark Frost — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 10:30:17 GMT

2am in the morning on one of my first few nights on call after graduation:

"my male dog has his c*ck stuck in my bitch and shes screaming..."

Imagine this in a thick black country accent... advice was to leave them to it and consider alizin when her season was finished. (A certain joke sprung to mind but decided it'd be inappropriate ... "Have you tried phoning them? ... No why? .... Worked for me!")

Also, had someone who though their staffies 'balls were coming out', on questioning he had been castrated a few months previously and was a bit excited, I assured them the bulbus glandis was nothing to worry about.

Re: Strange calls

Julian Earl — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 10:23:30 GMT

Quarter to midnight: ring-ring, ring-ring...

Little old lady: " I 've sprayed my dog for fleas and he hasn't stopped scratching yet."

Me: "When did you spray him?"

Little old lady: "Fifteen minutes ago."

Me: "Oh..."

Re: Strange calls

Niall Taylor — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 08:55:08 GMT

[quote user="Michael Woodhouse"]Why just ring me to tell me 30 minutes after each puppy was dead and bitch asleep????!!!!! [/quote]

I think many people assume we're on night shift when we're on duty and that we're awake and at the clinic. I was once called back to the clinic about 1.00 am to attend a dog which the owner reported had fallen off the roof. When she arrived and I let her in her first remark was, "Oh, I hope you didn't come down here specially, this could probably have waited until the morning".

Another time when I was attending a cow at around 7.00 in the morning the farmer noticed I was a bit bleary eyed and asked what time I had got to bed the night before. Having been up to the wee small hours with a particularly difficult calving and sensing the opportunity for some sympathy I put on my most martyred expression and told him that it was 2.00 in the morning before I'd managed to get home. At this the farmer scowled and replied "well, that was a bit daft, wasn't it, when you knew you were on duty".

I was too tired to correct him!

Niall

Re: Strange calls

Michael Woodhouse — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 00:04:23 GMT

Last Sunday morning:

5.00am - phone rings

me - hello, veterinary surgery?

caller - my bitch had a dead puppy 30 minutes ago.

me - what's she doing now?

caller - sleeping, not straining quite settled.

me - are you worried about her?

caller - not really, does she need an injection or something?

me - not specifically if she's not straining, not sick etc. Give her some more time. Are you wanting her seeing?

caller - no, she's asleep [I WAS - never said that], bye

me - bye?

7.10am phone rings again

me - hello veterinary surgery?

caller - my bitch had another dead puppy 30 minutes ago.

me - what's she doing now?

caller - sleeping, not straining quite settled.

me - are you worried about her?

caller - no, but I thought you might want to know.

me - she's settled? Do you want me to see the dog?

caller - I don't think so, she seems happy.

me - give her some more time and if you are worried give me a ring.

caller - ok, bye then.

me - bye?

[I rang her back 10am and the little JRT had no more puppies but was ok and settled.]

Why just ring me to tell me 30 minutes after each puppy was dead and bitch asleep????!!!!!

Re: Strange calls

jd2008 — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 23:30:44 GMT

Well, apart from the death threats (no really - that's the great unwashed for you after a Panorama expose) the best one I had was years ago: client calls at 5am on a Sunday morning. I'm on call in Northants. Caller:"morning! Could you tell me what the weather's like in Kettering this morning" Me: "eh?" Caller repeats question Me: "you do realise you're calling an on-call vet, don't you" Caller:"yes love, I'm racing pigeons out of Kettering this morning, need to know what the weather's like and yours is the only number I could call at this time of the morning"