funny medical acronyms

Re: funny medical acronyms

Rob Reid — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:09:01 GMT

When I worked in Wales it was Devon for the dogs and Cefn for the cats, though the nasty ones got sent to Coventry.

Re: funny medical acronyms

Malcolm Ness — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:40:34 GMT

Following a mishearing of the phrase, "He's is going to heaven", we have patients destined for Devon.

Those not yet quite that bad are considered to be "Weston" cases. Weston-Super-Mare being the last resort before you get to Devon.

Re: funny medical acronyms

Mark Frost — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 18:30:39 GMT

SBI - Something Bad Inside

not an acronym but a client once told my boss when discussing euthanasia;

"his bags are packed and he's at the airport but he's not ready to board just yet."

Re: funny medical acronyms

chrisdj — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:22:03 GMT

FCS - F**ed cat syndrome

FDS - F**ed dog syndrome

and my favourite

FES - f**ed exotic syndrome....

Funny how many of my patients turn up in this state.... maybe I should re-assess my abilities

Had DMITO as well and CTD but obviously I am not the only one with a warped sense of humour.

Re: funny medical acronyms

Rob Reid — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 09:36:07 GMT

[quote user="Emily Nightingale"]

cconcerning a patient of his what WMSTO meant. Thinking on the spot he said "Warning, might snap the owner" as the dog was aggressive..

when infact it meant

Wouldnt mind shagging that one..

[/quote]

I recall working with a locum who had an abbreviation along similar lines (I think it orignially comes from Roger's Profanisaurus.)

BOBFOC - "Body off Baywatch, face off crimewatch"

Not sure how you would explain that one to the DC though....

Re: funny medical acronyms

Emily Nightingale — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:09:33 GMT

Went to a CPD session on how to handle complaints run by the VDS own Frank Mckeating who was informing us about the

dangers of using acronyms. One vet hauled up infront of a disciplinary committee was asked on review of his notes

cconcerning a patient of his what WMSTO meant. Thinking on the spot he said "Warning, might snap the owner" as the dog was aggressive..

when infact it meant

Wouldnt mind shagging that one..

Apparently the owner was a hottie..

Re: funny medical acronyms

HMC — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:30:44 GMT

The Irish dictionary is fantastic!! It had us crying with laughter.

One more acronym to add:

CTD = circling the drain

Re: funny medical acronyms

Vikki Halliday LLB — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:24:57 GMT

We had a list somewhere in our graduation yearbook, which eludes me at present as I'm about to move house, however I have never forgotten the "alternative" list to commonly used acronyms including:

BAR: "Bright, Alert, Responsive", ( or Bugger All wRong)

NAD: "No Abnormalities Detected", (or Not Actually Done)

Re: funny medical acronyms

Charlotte Marshall — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:20:33 GMT

I have long wanted to coin an acronym of my own for certain cases: OH - owner hypochondria for those cases where there is absolutely nothing wrong with the poor animal but it just has to sneeze and it's brought to see you.

Re: funny medical acronyms

Vikki Halliday LLB — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:06:05 GMT

[quote user="Gillian Mostyn"]BVA – Breathing Valuable Air[/quote]

How true...........

Re: funny medical acronyms

Lucie Allcutt — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 20:07:50 GMT

First heard this one on a neuro rotation at school: TTJ = Transfer to Jesus

Re: funny medical acronyms

Niall Taylor — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 18:45:39 GMT

[quote user="Gillian Mostyn"]I did a search for funny acronyms after a comment made on another thread, and although a few are specifically medical - but they did make me laugh so I thought I'd share...feel free to add more....[/quote]

My favourites:

TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy

and, from a former practice, before black bags were the norm for cadaver disposal:

GBJ - Grey Bag Job (aka Terminally ill - sick, I know)

There is a good collection on a BBC web page here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3159813.stm. I particularly liked UBI (Unexplained Beer Injury).

But of course as it says in our practice manual section on acronyms (made in an attempt to translate increasinly cryptic clinical notes), "Remember all owners (and their lawyers) have the right to see their own clinical records - bear that in mind when making clinical notes of any sort".

Niall

Re: funny medical acronyms

Gillian Mostyn — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:41:39 GMT

crying with laughter!!

Re: funny medical acronyms

Amie Glaves — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:31:58 GMT

My dad is a GP and once told me a few of the one's he has heard over the years

FLK - funny looking kid

TUBE - totally unnecessary breast examination.

Honestly, how do they get away with it? Anyway, thanks for brightening up my otherwise very dull day. I have been howling with laughter from my consult room ;-)

Re: funny medical acronyms

Laurence Webb — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:22:54 GMT

DMITO Dog more intelligent than owner

NBG No bloody good (as written by my ex boss before putting an animal to sleep)

Re: funny medical acronyms

Rob Reid — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:06:16 GMT

Along similar lines (and at risk of upsetting my fellow Celts across the water)

Irish Medical dictionary

Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight
Artery......................... The study of paintings
Bacteria...... Back door to cafeteria
Barium................ What doctors do when patients die
Caesarean Section.. A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan.................. Searching for Kitty
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her
Colic.......................... A sheep dog
Coma........................... A punctuation mark
Dilate......................... To live long
Enema.......... Not a friend
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else
Fibula......................... A small lie
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain..................... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane

Morbid..................> >A higher offer

Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates
Node........................... I knew it
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative................. A letter carrier
Recovery Room......... Place to do upholstery
Rectum........................ Nearly killed him
Secretion...................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman emperor
Tablet......................... A small table
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport
Tumour............. One plus one more
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out

Re: funny medical acronyms

Edward Jones — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:55:45 GMT

How about a veterinary modified version: PVP? Penicillin, voren and p*** off [;-)]

Re: funny medical acronyms

Evelyn Barbour-Hill — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:48:39 GMT

Snafu was originally a military one as I recall.

Favourite from NHS hospital casualty department:

PPP (penicillin, paracetamol and p*** off) Not very funny really when you have been the subject of it.

Re: funny medical acronyms

Edward Jones — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:37:23 GMT

T.F.BUNDY - Totally F***** But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet

FUBAR - F***** Up Beyond All Recognition

SNAFU - Situation Normal, All Fucked Up

All my favourite ones seem to have certain language in common. Whoops.

Re: funny medical acronyms

Rob Davis — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:32:36 GMT

T F BUNDY - totally f****d but not dead yet