Empty Nest

RE: Empty Nest

Clare Tapsfield-Wright — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 19:45:19 GMT

Enjoy it Arlo , life is too short and you have definitely earned some time just for you. You will probably appreciate it even more than anyone else which is a good thing.
I still wake up on a Saturday and have a small frisson of happiness because I don’t have to go and do morning surgery . I once did nearly every Saturday for about ten years , I still appreciate it now.
I am sure your time will fill with other things. I’ve still got one of my sons home for the foreseeable as you know but I still love finding new stuff to do, my current obsession is the podcast called the rest is history , I blooming love it , keep listening while I’m doing the washing and cooking. Learned so much history that I didn’t know.
Enjoy your freedom Arlo, treasure each moment, take your wife out for dinner and away for the weekend . Yes she does want you to organise it . ;)

RE: Empty Nest

Gillian Mostyn — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 12:06:37 GMT

Currently trying to get used to it. My daughter has now moved out, my son will be off to Uni in September.

I just miss her terribly. Not any particular function of being a parent - I just enjoyed her company and miss her being a part of my life every day. It's wonderful seeing her getting on with building her own life - and I would obviously never interfere with that. Fortunately I see her every few weeks, so it could be much worse.

RE: Empty Nest

Arlo Guthrie — Thu, 19 Jan 2023 11:03:20 GMT

[quote userid="8424" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/30550/empty-nest/240550#240550"]Don't overthink it or dwell in the feeling that it should feel weird or sad, just find out what you like doing and do it![/quote]

Well, I try not to dwell, but it just does feel rather sad. That said, time is the healer and in the meantime, you're right about the importance of distractions. I'm lucky to have found such an engrossing hobby as film-making!

RE: Empty Nest

Dagmar Steele — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 17:47:47 GMT

Gradually, yes. Have been a single mum for some years, now the kids are moving out bit by bit, first staying at friends houses sometimes or with their boyfriend/girlfriend. My daughter has moved out now, my son still lives with me - at the moment this transition feels quite natural and most of the time I can enjoy doing what and when I like. But I also know the feeling of alone-ness, it's harder to get yourself to do things when you're on your own. Having friends with common interests helps a lot, and I guess having a partner will help too. Don't overthink it or dwell in the feeling that it should feel weird or sad, just find out what you like doing and do it!

RE: Empty Nest

Arlo Guthrie — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 17:12:27 GMT

[quote userid="6550" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/30550/empty-nest/240545#240545"]Weird feeling isn't it?[/quote]

Yeah. Most odd.

[quote userid="2122" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/30550/empty-nest/240546#240546"]more of a feeling of "alone-ness", with no sounds in the abode other than the dog or my own breathing.[/quote]

Exactly how I felt this morning, alone in the house for about the first time in, what, 18 years.

[quote userid="2122" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/30550/empty-nest/240546#240546"]One interesting observation of the so-called empty-nesters has been that the two remaining residents have to really apply themselves to re-acquaint with the other member of the household[/quote]

Not a situation we have in this house. My wife and I have hardly been apart in 18 years, so we are pretty well-acquainted! If anything, we're thinking about how we are now free to do more stuff on our own for the first time.

[quote userid="2122" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/30550/empty-nest/240546#240546"]I have found that one of the most significant steps to take is that of, simply, accepting the status quo and not beating oneself up for thinking too much. [/quote]

I think that's very sage advice, which I shall try and follow!

RE: Empty Nest

George Cooper — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 13:31:09 GMT

Hi Arlo! Surprisingly "chirpy" today, then? Dont expect we will need to "egg" you on to visit the pub, especially returning home "scrambled"!! Time will fly by!

But - in similar vein but without the dreadful attempt at levity, the one emotion I experienced after losing my wife to pancreatic cancer back all those years ago in 2009 was not, as one might expect - loneliness as such, - more of a feeling of "alone-ness", with no sounds in the abode other than the dog or my own breathing. That alone-ness manifest itself as a reluctance to ever eat out (alone) or go to see a film, or other such activities that are normally carried out as one of a pair or more. It seemed easier to decline invitations, say to local farming community weddings, and stay home where it was safe and familiar. I've never been one for small talk, always preferring to be on the organising front of any event, concert, performance etc.

One interesting observation of the so-called empty-nesters has been that the two remaining residents have to really apply themselves to re-acquaint with the other member of the household. It is almost as if the intervening years have produced a familiar stranger! Given my personal situation of living alone - something a good many individuals have to do, I have found that one of the most significant steps to take is that of, simply, accepting the status quo and not beating oneself up for thinking too much. And again - personally, having a closely involved family - yet still at arms length as appropriate - has been both a joy and a life saver.

Just a few thoughts born of experience!!

RE: Empty Nest

Bob Russell — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 12:34:51 GMT

Weird feeling isn't it?

We have an almost resident granddaughter. Irritating and tiring when present and the house is horrible when she is not. Funny old world!

Just go with the flow!