Super-colleagues...!

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Jill Butterworth — Sat, 29 Jan 2022 22:09:49 GMT

Shame! Really well done any way!

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Julian Earl — Sat, 29 Jan 2022 21:16:31 GMT

[quote userid="8858" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/29989/super-colleagues/233266#233266"]Good luck with the race, Julian, and thank you for giving an update.[/quote]

A very belated reply. But ~I won my category for this event as well and so , despite my errm, maturity! ~I hold a National Title in my beloved sport! This is not something that I ever expected, Para-cyclist or otherwise but the two wins in the Series gave me enough points for the Series Title! The record and Vet Times were not interested. Harrumph!! But thanks for your interest anyway xx

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Julian Earl — Thu, 30 Sep 2021 08:29:47 GMT

[quote userid="4664" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/29989/super-colleagues/233294#233294"] do hope that you’ve had a better 24 hours. Are you cycling again this week. It’s been so wet and windy here this week that it’s not really been fit to be out and about much. [/quote]

Thank you Kath, The last 24 hours has been bit up and down to be honest. I do tryto focus on the ups. These being , having got out on thebike again after what seemed like ages. Alas as you say, it is very wet and windy so not very inviting. I have had acoupleof turbo-sessions and unusually, Ialmost hated ecvery minute!I can usually focus on the effort pretty well and not be distracted from that but not this time.The fitter I get, the easier it isto pssthe time on my turbo.I am considering splashing out on the heavily-advertisedWatt-bike Atom to get anew objective when trai bing indoors. They are not cheap but asAnnika says, youcan't take it with you!!Oh really Amnnnika, do you think I'm going somewhere? It might be an extra incentive until the weather is dry, sunny and still [ rememberdays like those?/ I think that I do once upon a time!! /mainly I just have to cler this dratted cold that Annika shared with me!! :(

Thank you very much indeed for your comments and input Kath. It all helps, it really does.

RE: Super-colleagues...!

KathW — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 21:24:45 GMT

I’m glad to hear that your chest infection has cleared up and you can get out cycling again Julian. Enjoy getting out and training and good luck with your next race.

As Jill has said it’s good that you can “talk” to us all and be honest about how you are feeling.
I do hope that you’ve had a better 24 hours. Are you cycling again this week. It’s been so wet and windy here this week that it’s not really been fit to be out and about much.

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Julian Earl — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 19:01:36 GMT

Thank you Jill. Undoubtedly; The single best bit of advice that I received, from Vet-Life in the early days was to talk about it and this has proved critically important. To be honest. I now count posting this way on here as talking with friends because I have had such kind and sympathetic responses. I do sometimes wish that I ciould let it all out and weep properly! There I have said it openly now t! Whilst, I feel a bit ashamed admitting this but I wastold very accurately, that for me it has all been like a death of the real me that I thought I was! Hence it is so important o be able to persevere with my racing on he bike and keeping up with CPD as best as I can. That is all for now thank you greatly Jill...Very kind of you!! xx

Back tomorrow...

An edit just to say hat the Samaritans people arelovely as you might expect but one problem is that I fend it verystressful/upsetting and unpleasant to have to describe my full history every time I speak to anyone different, be they medical or some counsellor. Samartians do not keep individual Records which I find a bit strange really? You think they might want to look back of the people who approach them at sometime? So I stick to friends and Vet-Life as much as Ican for this reason. Plus Nowadays; vetsurgeon.org of course, thank you! In some ways you are all probably life-saving/preserving in a way! TY!!

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Jill Butterworth — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 18:42:27 GMT

I'm so glad you are asking for helping talking about it. I only wish David Bartram had done the same. He knew what to do, but was so ill with disordered thinking that he failed to seek help. Calling the Samaritans if you are low in the night can be helpful f you need to talk to someone and don't want to wake your family. Be with people, seek companionship, especially with people who know you, but also acquaintances, it's the best treatment.

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Julian Earl — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 14:18:30 GMT

[quote userid="8858" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/off-duty-discussions/29989/super-colleagues/233266#233266"]ood luck with the race, Julian, and thank you for giving an update.[/quote]

Thank you Jill,

My hope is "simply" to be well enough to rideat full-effort aslong as my current chest infection is100% cleared. \no race is easy, by definition it is a lot of effort but I do not want to really just roll around the circuit without giving it some welly so to speak. This last week, my thread asking for Help has been more relevant than ever because my mood/per has hit trock bottom! AsI've said before, I want and need to beopen about thisand say that I could not take my own life due to my love for my wife and family, including even the cat who has been a very special pet ever since we collected him on my day of discharge back on22nd November 2012. Plus I could not give my wonderful consultant Neurosurgeon a slap in the face that way! But I am suggesting/ asking again that I do need real help again to get through this rough patch at the moment Thank you in anticipation for any uggestions!

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Jill Butterworth — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 10:13:06 GMT

Good luck with the race, Julian, and thank you for giving an update.

RE: Super-colleagues...!

Julian Earl — Tue, 28 Sep 2021 20:42:15 GMT

Supplementary to my notes just above, yesterday out on my bike for the first time in weeks for health reasons, albeit in a hiorrid strong west-wind but 19-22degreesC, I was distracted by iitially 1 Kite 200 metres way from me here close to home, hen Ispotted it had two more" with it as well, eventually a of group of five were arround! Just gret, Also; today needing some advice I resorted to ringing Samaritans to ask what next? I do not want to start going down a n irretrievable slide into desperate action; that s not me! The lady was very sympathetic and as I have openly said before, Iam glad to be away from prctice now meaning away fom the barbiturates etc to which very depressed vet can resort.!

I have to focus on any positivesin my life nowadays: 1. Seeing these Red Kites so close was very good start!

2., My wife and family always...! Always a positive of course!! Until they get cross or impatient with me for some reason! All I can then do is apologise and try to understand things from their point of view? xxx for them, not you lot ...,

Then, 3, The fact that on the 10tth October I should be riding my final event of the National Para-Cycling Time-Trial series in which I currently lead my category by a hefty margin and might not even have to ride to win thisSeries! But not riding in my home city of Leeds, about 4 miles from where I was born in fact, is not the proper way to win a National Series? Nope, Iwant to, and feel I must ride to gain even a few points towards my final total just in principle in order to justify the title! My bout of non-COVID pneumonia in hospital at the start of this month for 2 days has messed up my training but also my anti-depressive medication riggering my recent severe bouts of feeling rock-bottom again!

All being well, balance will be restored gain soon?? Watch this space perhaps?

Thank you everyone..., From Julian,