Staff/colleague management

RE: Staff/colleague management

Alison Clare Hickman — Fri, 06 Dec 2019 06:50:56 GMT

I think your report is very helpful, in a "moral of the story" way. It definitely echoes the OP's circumstances and so throws a spotlight on "avoid these behaviours" as examples.

As mentioned previously by many... OP cannot change their colleagues behaviour but can change their own and so alter the work outcome. Stay or leave, something's gotta give!

Edit.

My personal (and through experience) preference would be to change my behaviour in post and see if this positively affected outcomes. To leave without making this effort might mean I encounter a similar outcome in another role elsewhere... (happened to me). The light bulb moment occurs when you change and the outcome changes to your benefit. Even if the outcome is simply a case of feeling more empowered having tried.

I observe being part of my own solution and leading by example. Not a paragon, no, just battle worn but experienced in what works!!

RE: Staff/colleague management

Virginia Campbell — Thu, 05 Dec 2019 17:30:58 GMT

I know someone who was in a similar situation in a completely different industry. The company was small, but busy and expanding. They took on another person and my friend was meant to briefly show him the ropes then let him get on with it- he'd talked himself up like he was god's gift to the company and given the impression that he would be flying in no time. He turned out to be lazy, incompetent and didn't have the will or ability to learn quickly or, seemingly, at all . Their jobs were entwined enough that she couldn't leave him to sink or it would have reflected badly on her. Days stretched into weeks and then months of her explaining things ad nauseam, directing him to information that she had signposted dozens of times before, fixing his mistakes and generally wiping his arse for him, as well as doing all her own work. Unfortunately the management (her direct bosses who were the two business partners- small company) was pretty rubbish- they were overstretched themselves and the two partners had fallen out with each other.

She left, got a job in an unrelated industry and is happy again.

The End.

(Sorry, not very helpful for you).

RE: Staff/colleague management

Tricia Goulden — Thu, 05 Dec 2019 07:37:10 GMT

This is not about him, it is about you. You are resentful and not coping. You were hoping that this colleague was going to lessen your load and give support. The opposite has happened. Sounds like poor recruitment by management. I feel for you.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Alison Clare Hickman — Sun, 01 Dec 2019 16:23:32 GMT

Neil Wheadon

Agree with comment re managerial skills (or lack of). That is why the OP needs to take control of their own role by repelling the Help Me requests/demands (in the protective professional manner described before). If it is not done for you (when it should be) then take charge of it yourself and be your own self cleaning oven. As the ad says "You're worth it".

It ain't selfish or wrong to protect your own interests in this respect.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Neil Wheadon — Sun, 01 Dec 2019 11:36:57 GMT

The elephant in the room with this is the quality of the manager.

A managers job is to oversee and understand the people over whom they manage, therefore if there are issues in regards workload, help, E mails etc a good manager will have spotted this and won't be reliant on being told by someone 'beneath' them that there is an issue. In fact I would go so far as saying that there are 2 scenarios here. 1) The person who feels hard done but isn't 2) The manager isn't a good manager. Therefore to go to a poor manager and say 'Mr X isn't pulling their weight won't work'

I speak from experience. I had 3 managers at AHVLA. One was fantastic, the other was good but waiting for retirement, the other was a nightmare. He/she started with 13 under their care and I resigned when 9 others had been transferred to another manger or resigned as well. My jaundiced experience in a large organisation is that in some cases, it's not competence that means you climb the scale but a frantic need to do so where some know the levers to pull, and get promoted to their level of incompetence.

Neil

RE: Staff/colleague management

Alison Clare Hickman — Sun, 01 Dec 2019 10:10:21 GMT

Absolutely 100pc Laurence Webb

Tick, tick, ticks all the right boxes!

RE: Staff/colleague management

Laurence Webb — Sat, 30 Nov 2019 23:04:09 GMT

[quote user="An On MRCVS"] I have a meeting with my manager next week and will mention that I'm falling behind [/quote]

Please don't do this because

[quote user="An On MRCVS"]my colleague does a very good job of giving the impression on being on top of things and terribly, terribly busy[/quote]

You're going to give the impression that you are the one that is not fit for the position rather than the other way around.

I've recently had the book 'The minute manager meets the monkey' advised to me and it is a revelation. I can't say that I've completely mended my ways but I at least now recognise when I am making a rod for my own back by being helpful to others. I would suggest that you buy it and have the same 'Oh it is written about me' moment.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Kate Richardson — Sat, 30 Nov 2019 16:50:28 GMT

[quote user="jd2008"]I'd be cautious about taking this to your manager. You don't know whether your manager is aware of his behaviour and already taking action that you might not be aware of. You risk implying to your manager that you they're not doing their job. I'd even be cautious about mentioning that you're struggling under your workload. The obvious question from your manager will be why. That leaves you in the awkward situation of saying "it's not my fault, it's his" which, as you'll know doesn't go down well especially at your senior level.[/quote]

I agree with everything else you said apart from this- I guess it depends on your relationship with your manager, but as we are encouraged to be open about stress levels, surely it is important to make your manager aware of the situation and how it is making you feel? It's the manager's job to um, manage people? A conversation can surely be had in a mature manner without it coming across as finger pointing. The OP has been in the job a lot longer so surely their track record should speak for itself.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Jo Dyer — Sat, 30 Nov 2019 09:26:56 GMT

[quote user="An On MRCVS"](I was a bit taken aback when he was hired at exactly the same grade and scale as me despite having no previous relevant experience or further qualifications. I was given my particular grade/scale based on a directly relevant postgraduate degree and my previous experience).[/quote]

It was this that immediately made me recognise that Anon is female. It's a situation that many women in this profession will have experienced, unfortunately.

I think there is a lot of good advice in this thread, mainly distilled down to 2 points. Stop helping him, and somehow let your manager know the division of labour. Blowing our own trumpet often doesn't come naturally, but do your best.

I have never used a career or life coach but I imagine they might be invaluable in this sort of situation?

RE: Staff/colleague management

jd2008 — Sat, 30 Nov 2019 00:50:18 GMT

Yeah, this is a miserable situation to be in and, like Jill, I strongly suspect our OP is female.
It's not just that female's aren't allowed to be assertive, the behaviour displayed by this male colleague would never be tolerated from a female. They'd have been rapidly pulled up for being incompetent and 'not meeting expectations' but men get away with it all the time - especially if they put on the helpless puppy act (note: most men don't behave like this but some certainly do). Sadly we, as a society, expect women to look after other people, especially men/boys, and this bleeds into professional environments too. This just perpetuates this particular type of workplace inequality.

I'd be cautious about taking this to your manager. You don't know whether your manager is aware of his behaviour and already taking action that you might not be aware of. You risk implying to your manager that you they're not doing their job. I'd even be cautious about mentioning that you're struggling under your workload. The obvious question from your manager will be why. That leaves you in the awkward situation of saying "it's not my fault, it's his" which, as you'll know doesn't go down well especially at your senior level.

Ditto using emails as paper trails. I'd be very surprised if your company didn't have a clause in its communication policy explicitly prohibiting this. The last two places I've worked have. Deliberately creating paper trails to use against someone (even if it's in your own defence) is heavily frowned upon nowadays. Mostly because it creates an atmosphere of distrust and these paper trails can be highly selective in their contents so are not always the truth they appear to be. I archive emails, simply because I don't know when I might need to refer back to a particular conversation, but I'd only ever resort to using them in my defence as a very last resort i.e., I was facing dismissal.

It sounds like you have already explained to your colleague the effect their behaviour is having on you so I see no value in trying again - just another waste of your time because he wasn't prepared to listen to you first time. If you keep running back to him he remains in control of your time and your sanity.

Honestly, you've only one sensible option left. Stop doing his job for him. Completely. He is now at risk of dragging you down with him. In these types of shared position individuals are generally judged on the performance of the team as a whole. So, when you meet with your manager, bring her up to speed on all the projects/tasks you are working on. If you want, you be a bit passive-aggressive and mention the projects your colleague is currently on to provide a very clear, stark contrast. "I'm currently developing a, b, c, in charge of d and e, involved in f, g, h, i and j, and finalising k,l and m. My understanding is *colleagues name* is currently doing n and p - so between us we've got the essentials covered off". Even the dumbest manager can't fail to spot the huge contrast in workloads.

Absolutely don't comment on his performance either to him or anyone else - that's his manager's job, not yours.

As my mother always said, you can't change anyone's behaviour other than your own. You need now to look after yourself and concentrate on getting your workload done. You will have prioritised your workload into categories from urgent/high importance down to non-urgent/low importance". Your colleague's request for assistance go into the lowest category. Only respond once the rest of your work is done. There's a high chance your colleague will bitch and whine that you're ignoring him, being uncooperative yada, yada, yada.. At that point you politely explain that, being the capable, organised person you are, you categorise all the work that lands on your desk and his requests for help will get attention, but only once you have attended to your primary responsibilities. If he complains to your manager, you've already let your manager know what your respective workloads are so he won't have a leg to stand on. Obviously be careful not to ignore any communications from him that do genuinely require a speedy response.

Seriously, stop running after him! All the suggestions above about sending him lists of tasks, talking to him again, pointing him back in the direction of resources he already has are simply more work for you - why the h*ll should you do that for him at this point? You're really going to regret all the effort you put into him if he gets promoted over you because you "couldn't cope with the workload" and he "sailed through it". This happens, believe me.

[quote user="An On MRCVS"]Would rather not ruin what could be a very good working relationship, though.[/quote] Oh, sweetheart I get where you're coming from, I really do but do you think, from his behaviour, he gives a damn about you or the working relationship?

RE: Staff/colleague management

Neil Wheadon — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 15:11:55 GMT

[quote user="Chris Geddes"]I would discuss with the manager. You're not throwing your colleague under the bus. Your manager needs to be aware. It's their job to know, and to manage the situation accordingly.[/quote]

Out of interest as you work in industry, how would you approach this? It's a lesson for all of us if we see something but want to sort it amicably? Genuine question

Neil

RE: Staff/colleague management

Jill Butterworth — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 14:12:51 GMT

Absolutely I am suggesting that there is a gender difference in how we are perceived and described to colleagues, and that this might be a contributing factor.

If the OP was male, I contest that we might not be having this discussion, as they would have been more confident to nip the unwanted behaviour in the bud, in general, males being much less avoidant of confrontational situations.

Our language is known to be gender biased in the workplace: a male might be described as assertive for calling this out, whereas a female might be referred to as bossy or bitchy.

The two presumed females in our discussion are clearly at pains to be and appear to be kind and promote a harmonious working environment which is great, but this might be inadvertently preventing them from managing their work effectively.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Chris Geddes — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 14:03:26 GMT

[quote user="An On MRCVS"]unwilling to micromanage[/quote]

There is a huge difference between "not micromanaging" and "not managing". From what you are saying, your manager is doing the latter, i.e. not doing their job.

I would discuss with the manager. You're not throwing your colleague under the bus. Your manager needs to be aware. It's their job to know, and to manage the situation accordingly. I have had many similar situations as a manager. I'd be mortified if this scenario was happening amongst my team and I wasn't aware of it.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Neil Wheadon — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 13:01:19 GMT

[quote user="An On MRCVS"]Over the past few weeks I've made a point of being less-than-helpful to my colleague. It's not my place to tell him what he should be doing[/quote]

This is what you need to do. If you're busy and feel overworked, just ignore the E Mails, requests for help and leave them to it.

If your manager is looking at how much you are both doing and using proper measures they should pick up on this but never rely on this because frankly some managers are pretty poor as well, responding more to what they are told and personal relationships with those that they oversee, rather than cold facts of what you are actually achieving. Never have a go at a fellow worker in a review, it will backfire, after all, most people feel they do a better job than their neighbour.

I note the cc culture, are these aimed at his/her line manager? It's an absolute classic in my opinion.

I saw this in AHVLA (over 9 years).

Don't let it get you down I tended to find that the great vets in AHVLA were those grafting, seemingly at the bottom of the pile.

Neil

RE: Staff/colleague management

George Cooper — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 12:49:23 GMT

New Colleague: "Help! How do I find the information about the XYZ project?"

You: "How would you like me to help you?"

He may be completely unaware of the consternation that he is causing. One of the reasons that people do not take hints about things is because the do not know what is being hinted at. And so this non-fracas that is causing you a mountain of distress can only be resolved, NOT by involving management, but by deep and meaningful dialogue between you, the injured party, and him, the perpetrator.

One technique that can be really effective is, over an informal cuppa, to talk about his behaviour, and not HIM. This is because nothing is personal - it aint him you are taking issue with, but how he behaves. Follow that up by asking him if he is aware of how it makes you FEEL. You empathise with him that starting a new job and trying to find out everything that needs to be known can be as daunting as a first date, and that you understand that. However, ask him if he realises that, every time he dumps it on you it makes you feel pressurised and resentful which you dont want. You can also point out that you have been sorely tempted when yet another email is copied on to you to seek assistance from The Management, but that you'd far prefer to sort things out between you.

Just a small simile - ***Anecdote warning***. Imagine you are stuck in the library researching a deeply academic subject, and the bloke is sat behind you - and he has a cold. He is sniffing like he has the Niagara Falls cascading from his nostrils. As time progresses, every time he sniffs your blood pressure rises another notch. After about 10-15 minutes, very time he sniffs to turn and glare your best glare at him. (Trouble is, as with hinting, he's no idea why you are hating him so much.). And so - when the glaring has zero effect on the volume of sniff, or the dripping on the desk, you feel a red mist rising - and eventually you snap "FOR EFS SAKE SHUT UP!" But he still is none the wiser - because he's unaware that he IS sniffing. You've now made an enemy because you shouted at him, and he was concentrating on his work. SO- what can you do? 1. Get up and leave. 2. Lean over and offer to lend him a bit of the bog-roll you just happen to have in the recesses of your handbag, empathising as you do it "Its awful, this rhinitis that is doing the rounds - and it disturbs everyone - HERE have a snot-rag, blow, and be done!!"

I hope some of this home-spun cod philosophy helps the tiniest bit. Good luck and best wishes, and remember, Vick is useful for nasal congestion!

RE: Staff/colleague management

Dinu Catilina — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 12:18:34 GMT

[quote user="Jill Butterworth"]So, I guess you are female, not wanting to appear bitchy? And he's on the same pay grade? [/quote]

Hm, why is it relevant if it's a he or a she? Their direct boss is a female. Are you suggesting that a HE is receiving preferential treatment, for being a man, from a woman?

RE: Staff/colleague management

Jill Butterworth — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 10:42:45 GMT

So, I guess you are female, not wanting to appear bitchy? And he's on the same pay grade?

It's incredibly stressful to work with lazy or slow colleagues when everyone else has a good work ethic, I feel for you. I remember working with a vet who would still be on his first cat spay at 10.30 when I had done 3 ops and he was paid more than me. But I digress.

I know someone just going through this same thing in a big organisation. One individual has been really corrosive, but HR nowadays are so terrified of repercussions it's gone on for a couple of years.

Is he still on probation? Maybe you could point out he is not cutting the mustard.

It puts me in mind of dog training: Reward good behaviour and ignore bad. Some people and dogs need many repeats before they learn.

Write your thoughts down and brainstorm each solution with the pros and cons til it becomes self evident what you should do. Its best to go to your manager with solutions not problems, and the same with him. Be honest with her, you have nothing to lose.

By answering his constant queries, you have rewarded him, so he's kept on asking. Brace yourself, have a meeting with him: 'You should be ready to fly by your self, I will no longer answer all your emails, you know how the organisation works and where to find the answers. If you want to discuss issues, I will be available for half an hour each day at x time only.' In your nice way, but so that he is in no doubt you mean it. 'Make your point without making an enemy' Churchill.

You need to bring this up and act so it stops eating away at you. Good luck.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Thomas Johnson — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 08:34:12 GMT

[quote user="Toadster"]

Time to tell it as it is. Be clear and polite but firm.

Reuests for information can be replied to with a return response stating that the books of instructions previously provided will give the answer sought.

[/quote]

[quote user="An On MRCVS"]So, what do I do? I realise it's a big no-no, especially in my current environment, to complain about a colleague's performance to a manager. I have a meeting with my manager next week and will mention that I'm falling behind but I can't think of any way of explaining why without throwing my colleague under the proverbial bus. I also worry that, even if I do, my manager is so incredibly nice and unwilling to micromanage (ordinarily this makes her a delight to work for) that whatever she does say to my colleague will have little effect. [/quote]

I think Toadster's advice is very sensible, but if there is still no improvement I think you can bring up a colleague's poor performance with a manager, as long as you can provide evidence. I would hope that an organisation would be concerned about someone not doing the job they are paid to do, and also about the effect of that on another member of their staff.

RE: Staff/colleague management

Alison Clare Hickman — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 07:36:57 GMT

Time to tell it as it is. Be clear and polite but firm.

Reuests for information can be replied to with a return response stating that the books of instructions previously provided will give the answer sought.

This applies to any 'cc' emails too. When you are approached by the originator of the question he couldn't answer, forward their email to him to deal with.

Keep records of all. To defend any accusations of you being difficult.

Re the jobs he ignores/leaves. Send him a list of all jobs; allocate half to yourself and half to him and when they must be achieved by. With a jolly "Let's do this!" sign off

If he has any problems.dealing with his fair share then this is the matter that gets aired before the boss. She should notice the degraded service and start asking questions... When she asks, that's your time to show your records and speak plainly.

Hope this helps.

(Ps. This is supposing he isn't suffering from any health issues? If so, this needs to be directed to the boss asap).