Adjusting to life as a single parent

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Sarah McGurk — Tue, 26 Sep 2017 10:53:50 GMT

I hope things are improving for you all Arlo. It all sounds horribly complicated. Best wishes to your wife for a rapid recovery.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Michael Woodhouse — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 21:16:28 GMT

[quote user="ih220"]Although when I saw junior obstetric doctors for my second child recently I heard them going to the office next door and checking their plan with the consultant, so they weren't working in isolation - needed better soundproofing though...). [/quote]

Why, could the consultant hear your screaming?

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Rob Loxley — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 19:48:12 GMT

[quote user="ih220"] from what I've seen of private healthcare in the UK and USA they can be a bit overkeen on diving in and operating[/quote]

My experience was the consultant orthopedic surgeon (same as I would eventually have been under via the NHS) was happy to recommend where surgery was not necessary (my broken shoulder).

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

ih220 — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 17:28:03 GMT

Ps should say I wish your wife a speedy recovery whatever treatment plan is decided on in the end.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

ih220 — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 17:27:05 GMT

I think private can be great if it's clear that an op is needed and you will benefit from having it done quicker. However when the need for surgery is less clear, from what I've seen of private healthcare in the UK and USA they can be a bit overkeen on diving in and operating, so I would be a bit cautious personally.

(Incidentally the key to seeing the top consultant rather than a junior doctor via the NHS is to have something rare like my elder son... I appreciate that's not very helpful in this case! Although when I saw junior obstetric doctors for my second child recently I heard them going to the office next door and checking their plan with the consultant, so they weren't working in isolation - needed better soundproofing though...).

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Martin Atkinson — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 10:26:59 GMT

[quote user="David Mills"]A bump on the shoulder? It's hardly terminally awful. [/quote]But then you're not a woman. And maybe you've never worn a heavy backpack or guitar over your shoulder.

[quote user="David Mills"] Do you think plating carries a lower risk of callus formation??[/quote]Erm...yes. Doesn't say much for your orthopaedic surgery in you don't achieve that.

[quote user="David Mills"]Was I?[/quote]You said you were off work for several weeks not me. Agreed it is not much to do with your employer other than you most likely had more generous sick benefit than in private practice and it was less disruptive to the running of the hospital.

[quote user="David Mills"] You broke your clavicle doing something dangerous. IMO clowns like that should be given short shrift by the NHS,[/quote]I was knocked off my bike when riding normally on a public road. If we consider normal cycling a dangerous activity it says a lot about the state of our roads. That is the only injury the NHS has ever paid for, all my other sporting injuries have been fixed privately, so suck on that.

[quote user="Elizabeth Billimore"]

Going back to the point about private health care: as I understand it, it's generally the same actual surgeons/consultants that you would see in the NHS as privately isn' it? It's just that you see them quicker. The advice should be the same but less of a waiting time for surgery that isn't urgent (if required).

[/quote]No. Firstly you are more likely to get a junior surgeon rather than the consultant. Secondly, because of the resources available the NHS is much more likely to take the cheaper but possibly sub-optimal option.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

bob lehner — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 11:53:37 GMT

[quote user="Arlo Guthrie"]Never heard that turn of phrase before. Where on earth did 'cark it' originate?![/quote]

'Cark it' - great old expression - turn from a living being into a carcase - or at least that's my derivation....

Hope things are getting better for y'all.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Mark Hedberg — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 10:14:34 GMT

[quote user="Emma Middleton"]High heels are treacherous!!

[/quote]

That's why i never wear them ;)

(and of course a rapid recovery to Mrs G!)

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Emma Middleton — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 09:05:05 GMT

I was panicked by the title too and glad to hear your wife is alive albeit not kicking :) Being a parent can be stressful and exhausting at the best of times so hats off to you Arlo.

Lots of coffee and having a break whenever you can by begging for childcare from anybody I find gets me through. But with your daughter's special needs I expect childcare is even more tricky for you. Does she go to school or any kind of day centre?

Hope Mrs G's pain settles down soon. High heels are treacherous!!

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Bibs — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 02:14:38 GMT

[quote user="Michael Woodhouse"]

[quote user="Elizabeth Billimore"]The advice should be the same but less of a waiting time for surgery that isn't urgent (if required). [/quote]

The advice might be the same but the treatment isn't. I have an expensive titanium anchor in my thumb that my surgeon told me I couldn't have had on the NHS. Cases of plates fitted to speed recovery and get better healing where NHS would cast, although perhaps not in this case!!!

[/quote]

Yes maybe less choice and less concern for speed of recovery and cosmetic appearance etc.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Michael Woodhouse — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 01:51:39 GMT

[quote user="Elizabeth Billimore"]The advice should be the same but less of a waiting time for surgery that isn't urgent (if required). [/quote]

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Bibs — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 01:13:53 GMT

Get well soon Mrs G.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Virginia Campbell — Sat, 23 Sep 2017 21:55:21 GMT

Sympathy to you both and best healing wishes for Mrs G.

Clavicle fractures I have treated n=0 so I don't feel qualified to comment further.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

David Mills — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 21:20:43 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]a permanent disfigurement [/quote]

A bump on the shoulder? It's hardly terminally awful. Or should the NHS now have cosmesis as a major factor in clavicle fracture management? Do you think plating carries a lower risk of callus formation??

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]the other was in constant discomfort and partially disabled for 18 months before it was finally fixed.[/quote]

n = 2. Do you think her surgeon was wrong, negligent, or other?

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]the dog can't make a considered choice as to which it would prefer[/quote]

And humans can?

I ead a great book by an obs/gynae doctor recently. He said that he barely understood the options put before patients, never mind them. So patient choice was thus: you either choose to take my advice or go elsewhere. How do you approach patient choice?

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]So...a great deal for some of us[/quote]

Wowee, time of the month old fruit? Do you think employees have rights?

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]can sit on your arse with your arm in a sling for weeks being paid by a charity employe[/quote]

Was I? Hardly see how charity aspect is important (would you like a discussion on the economics of working for a charity or the hours? But, you probably know one person who has so already know ), but, meh, anger really does cloud one's judgement it seems.

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]as a committed family life like Mrs G or is sole-charge self employed doesn't have that luxury.[/quote]

All choice, dear fruit. Or maybe the taxpayer should pick up the tab? You broke your clavicle doing something dangerous. IMO clowns like that should be given short shrift by the NHS, same as smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts because they're doing something idiotic...who do I sound like now??

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Martin Atkinson — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 09:00:00 GMT

[quote user="David Mills"] I listened to the consultant and they were right. [/quote]They were wrong in the case of my daughter and my friend: the former has a permanent disfigurement the other was in constant discomfort and partially disabled for 18 months before it was finally fixed.

[quote user="David Mills"]I wonder how he would respond if a human doctor demanded a certain therapy for a fracture in his dog that would heal perfectly well conservatively? [/quote] It has happened, I sent him to a specialist. But its not the same, the dog can't make a considered choice as to which it would prefer and its life is not going to be impacted the same way.

[quote user="David Mills"] Bit longer off work but so what? [/quote]So...a great deal for some of us. Bully for you if you can sit on your arse with your arm in a sling for weeks being paid by a charity employer, someone who has a committed family life like Mrs G or is sole-charge self employed doesn't have that luxury.

[quote user="David Mills"]Whose anecdote is worth more? [/quote]When does anecdote become experience?

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

David Mills — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 07:27:37 GMT

A man breaks his collar bone once and has an operation and becomes an expert. I wonder how he would respond if a human doctor demanded a certain therapy for a fracture in his dog that would heal perfectly well conservatively?

I've broken my collarbone and wrist a few times and it's always healed without metalwork. I listened to the consultant and they were right. Bit longer off work but so what?

Whose anecdote is worth more?

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Malcolm Ness — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 19:28:30 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]what would you want done if it was your clavicle? [/quote]

I don't know enough, so I would follow the advice of the experts.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Martin Atkinson — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 16:17:54 GMT

[quote user="Malcolm Ness"]Should Mrs G be listening to, and following the example of the good Prince??[/quote]I'll ask you the same question as I asked Evelyn and earned one star (which was frankly pathetic so expecting another): Given your knowledge of orthopaedics and sensibly assessing the risks, pros and cons and other's experiences (Bonny Prince Charles, the plumber and the man down the pub excepted) what would you want done if it was your clavicle?

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Bob Russell — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 15:22:54 GMT

And then there were none!

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Malcolm Ness — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 13:47:52 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]I would also be listening to the experience of those who have suffered a similar injury. [/quote]

A few years back, Prince Charles fractured a collar bone. It was managed "with a few days in a sling" along with the Prince's favoured homeopathy.

Should Mrs G be listening to, and following the example of the good Prince??

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Martin Atkinson — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 09:18:24 GMT

[quote user="Malcolm Ness"]If I were Arlo or Mrs Guthrie I would be listening carefully to the advice of the GP and even more carefully still to the orthopaedic surgeon, who presumably will have some particular expertise in shoulder surgery (almost all orthopaedic surgeons now have significant sub-specialities). They could consider the advice on offer in this thread, discuss it with their plumber and even talk it through with the guy in the public bar who knows everything about everything but I would hazard guess that the advice coming from the medics is likely to be of better quality than that coming from a vet or a plumber.[/quote]I would also be listening to the experience of those who have suffered a similar injury. They then have to balance the risk of a non-union (I have one friend whose clavicle never healed so she still had to have it plated 18 months later - possibly because she didn't rest it enough but then life has to go on) and an unsightly inconvenient bump +/- a narrowing of the shoulder against the cost/risk of surgery and the squeamishness of the patient. We have had examples of the outcome of all these choices in this thread. I don't think the surgeon is God in this and some may have different preferences/agendas so it is disingenuous to suggest they should dismiss the concerns of those who have seen both sides of the story, especially vets who do know something about fracture healing, even the plumber and the guy in the bar have choices.

Even if I die under GA having my plate out I would have considered that having it done in the first place was a better choice than leaving it as happened with my daughter or my friend. In hindsight I wish I'd kicked ass more back then and sought another opinion. Maybe the difference was that the surgeon my daughter saw was just a general orthopod whereas mine was a shoulder specialist.

If Mrs G can afford to sit around with her arm in a sling for the next 6 weeks and put up with a deformed shoulder she should leave it as it is. The opposite is obvious.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Arlo Guthrie — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 09:12:15 GMT

[quote user="Julie Innes"]Hope your wife is feeling better soon, Arlo! Like others I initially thought she had divorced you![/quote]

Thank you, and no, not yet anyway.

We did have an appt with a shoulder specialist this morning. But woke to find daughter fitting like a dervish, which means I can't get my wife to the appt, and we can't find a taxi. I mean really. It never just rains round here.

Not the end of the world, though, both other docs said new x-ray not needed till next week, so today would probably have been premature anyway.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Neil Wheadon — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 09:08:17 GMT

[quote user="Bob Russell"]The X-rays suggest a good, healthy callus will form quite quickly if left as is. This will be quite large and will take years to reduce, if it ever does.[/quote]

Look at it as a glass half full scenario, it'll make it harder for her handbag to slip of in crowded places

Neil

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

J G Wray — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 09:01:15 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]Thanks for the support Jon but pots and kettles still spring to mind. [/quote]

You misunderstand. I think your colleagues, the ones who are so sensitive, may be a bit selective and even inconsistent.

RE: Adjusting to life as a single parent

Martin Atkinson — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 08:54:07 GMT

[quote user="J G Wray"]That's a bit personal.[/quote]Thanks for the support Jon but pots and kettles still spring to mind.