How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Bob Russell — Tue, 23 May 2017 10:38:05 GMT

We deal with difficult and challenging clients almost daily. It is probably one of the reasons we survive as many other practices cannot be bothered with them.

We do not accept any abuse and discussions to sack clients would involve all staff but the principle would be that my staff would take priority over everything else. They are well supported and fairly resilient so the general ups and downs of practice life should be covered most of the time.

Anyone left feeling as the OP clearly did should be supported 100%. No knee jerk but good management and compliance with the law as well as caring for your employees!

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Braden Collins — Tue, 23 May 2017 09:31:01 GMT

[quote user="Arlo Guthrie"]

[quote user="Braden Collins"]To us, a good staff member is infinitely more important than any client.[/quote]

That just leapt out at me as something surely every practice owner should have as a guiding principle. So much so, that I'm wondering whether I shouldn't include a new 'Thought for the Day' in our monthly newsletter, and start with that one. Would you mind Braden Collins?[/quote]

Please do.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Arlo Guthrie — Fri, 19 May 2017 20:33:05 GMT

[quote user="Braden Collins"]To us, a good staff member is infinitely more important than any client.[/quote]

[quote user="Alyaska"]I talked to management, unfortunately they have tried to excuse client's behavior..[/quote]

I wonder if management is on the email list for our newsletter?

[quote user="J G Wray"]Have you read this thread?. How many are offering more than a knee jerk response of sack the client? Where does this leave the patient?[/quote]

Well, I've read it, and I disagree with your characterisation of the response here as 'knee-jerk'. Trying to imagine I was Alyaska's boss, and I can think of no possible excuse for making a member of staff feel that way. None. I don't care what other problems the client has going on in their life. I would get in touch with the client, explain the effect of their behaviour, and see whether any kind of mitigating explanation was forthcoming. If there was, I'd give them the chance to apologise. If not, they'd be fired, and I would explain why very clearly, in writing.

[quote user="J G Wray"]Where does this leave the patient?[/quote]

Well, if they've been fired properly, then off to another practice in the very certain knowledge that veterinary surgeons don't tolerate that kind of behaviour.

But whilst I couldn't disagree with you more about knee-jerk stuff, I do agree with you about:

[quote user="J G Wray"]I'm in favour of a version of stoicism and Stoicism[/quote]

Well, if not necessarily stoicism - though nothing wrong in that - finding ways of coping with situations like this. Surely difficult clients are common enough that there ought to be a framework in place in practice for you to let off steam to each other about the ones that behave badly. Perhaps a discussion about 'who's had the most difficult client' at the monthly meeting. I dunno. My point is that it must be an awful lot easier to bear as a team, than on your own, as Alyaska has been made to feel.

Commiserations Alysaska - rotten for you. But don't let the bastards get you down, as they say.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

J G Wray — Fri, 19 May 2017 19:09:34 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]You're sometimes usually so tied up in your own self aggrandisement that you don't acknowledge that anyone else can also make decisions based on experience and common sense.[/quote]

Have you read this thread?. How many are offering more than a knee jerk response of sack the client? Where does this leave the patient?

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Martin Atkinson — Fri, 19 May 2017 18:23:21 GMT

[quote user="J G Wray"] 'It was out of character'.[/quote]If you climb off your high horse for once Jon and look at that phrase in context it makes one hell of a difference to the way the rest of us would react as well. You're sometimes usually so tied up in your own self aggrandisement that you don't acknowledge that anyone else can also make decisions based on experience and common sense.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

J G Wray — Fri, 19 May 2017 17:34:13 GMT

The replies on this thread are painting this situation as monochrome when it's another example of something that has nuance in some cases. I'm no pusillanimous appeaser, but I can see circumstances where a pause, an intake of breath and some empathy might be deployed to good use, notably for the welfare of the patient.

With a monochrome outlook the patient never gets the benefit of your care.

Mrs E came in yesterday and was short to the point of rudeness and demanding about not very much at all and insulted our receptionist. It was out of character. It turns out she had just scattered her husband's ashes. Her two sons have predeceased her and when I phoned she confessed she'd stopped taking her medication.

My staff are not mollified by an explanation, yet. I do not intend to sack her.

Are these situations always black and white?

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Julie Innes — Fri, 19 May 2017 14:51:00 GMT

I'm another in the "get-shot" camp. If a client behaves like this over something as small as a muzzle, how will he be when the bandage on his dog's foot is chewed off falls off and he doesn't want to pay the bill? How will he react if the dog nips HIM when you are examining it- you can bet it will be your fault! I see this behaviour as a massive flashing red light, and as such I tend to politely suggest maybe he should take the dog somewhere else, as we obviously don't suit his needs and we don't need any more a**holes on our books. These clients are NEVER worth the angst and effort, better calling it quits at the start.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Gillian Mostyn — Fri, 19 May 2017 14:33:00 GMT

[quote user="Robin Grimmer"]Is your employer a vet or non-vet? If the latter ie coroporate, they may be more interested in turnover and less interested in your feelings.[/quote]

Couldn't disagree more. It depends on who your line manager is, not your employer.

My experience differs from yours. While employed by other vets, in small practices, I found very little concern was shown about my wellbeing, regardless of whether it was abusive clients, working hours or stress. They were nice people (mainly older men) but just oblivious if their responsibilities regarding their staff's mental and physical well-being.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Robin Grimmer — Fri, 19 May 2017 14:22:28 GMT

Is your employer a vet or non-vet? If the latter ie coroporate, they may be more interested in turnover and less interested in your feelings.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Bob Russell — Fri, 19 May 2017 13:58:04 GMT

Your employer has a legal responsibility to protect staff from abusive behaviour so if there is any further episode it may be worth reminding him/her/them of this requirement!

If this lack of support is routine then I would be somewhat supportive of the idea of seeking alternative employment!

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

J G Wray — Thu, 18 May 2017 18:54:02 GMT

[quote user="Catriona MacIntyre"]What alternative course of action would you suggest Mr Wray?[/quote]

Dunno, what did your father do?

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Martin Atkinson — Thu, 18 May 2017 18:44:10 GMT

[quote user="Catriona MacIntyre"]What alternative course of action would you suggest Mr Wray?[/quote]Don't feed the Troll!

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Catriona MacIntyre — Thu, 18 May 2017 18:15:13 GMT

[quote user="J G Wray"]....go somewhere else. Please could you refresh the collective memory of what happens when there is nowhere else for an abusive client to go and for good measure how the RCVS treated the victim of a dangerous and possibly life threatening client?[/quote]

What alternative course of action would you suggest Mr Wray?

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

J G Wray — Thu, 18 May 2017 17:17:12 GMT

[quote user="Catriona MacIntyre"]As a boss, I am more likely to tolerate a bit of verbal or emotional abuse, towards me, but absolutely not towards employees. I feel that employers have a duty of care towards their employees, and if a client is that badly behaved.... they can go somewhere else.[/quote]

....go somewhere else. Please could you refresh the collective memory of what happens when there is nowhere else for an abusive client to go and for good measure how the RCVS treated the victim of a dangerous and possibly life threatening client?

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

J G Wray — Thu, 18 May 2017 17:13:52 GMT

[quote user="Alyaska"]I would like to work in enviroment where I have no fear of such things ,or if they happen I'll have a strong support.[/quote]

There is always a place to start irrespective of work environment and that is with acquiring some personal resilience and I'm in favour of a version of stoicism and Stoicism. This is portable and independent of others. Aiming to make practice entirely congruent with how you feel and what you want is n't realistic.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Martin Atkinson — Thu, 18 May 2017 16:46:11 GMT

[quote user="Alyaska"]

I talked to management,unfortunately they have tried to excuse client's behavior..

I wish my boss thinks and behaves like you..supporting his employees

[/quote]One reason I became sole-charge as soon as possible a long, long time ago so I could set my own agenda. Maybe also why I'm not very rich and don't have many clients either mind you! But also the reason I'm very happy.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Alyaska — Thu, 18 May 2017 16:34:36 GMT

Thank you all for your support.

I talked to management,unfortunately they have tried to excuse client's behavior..

I wish my boss thinks and behaves like you..supporting his employees

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Martin Atkinson — Thu, 18 May 2017 09:27:21 GMT

[quote user="Linda Filshie"]Not wanting to jinx myself, but I can't recall a single instance of being yelled at by a client since I qualified in 2003. Have I been very lucky? Is there something about client handling that is helping avoid these situations? [/quote] A bit of both. Some people are trouble magnets and there may be something about their attitude which, subconsciously or otherwise, is antagonistic and triggers an aggressive response in the odd person with a short fuse. Being able to deal with the situation confidentially but diplomatically is a major help and possibly a gift not everyone possesses.

In 42 years of practice I can only recall a handful of occasions where I or my staff have actually been verbally abused by clients (this excludes dissatisfied clients who get a bit mouthy who are more numerous) and although a couple have threatened violence they have never actually assaulted anyone.

Despite being a fairly antagonistic person myself I have always managed to defuse other's aggression and can recognise those situations where an aggressive response is going to make the other side back down and those where discretion is the better part of valor! There is fine line that needs to be taken between appearing intimidated which encourages the bully to continue and over-aggressive which might induce physical violence.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Braden Collins — Thu, 18 May 2017 09:02:57 GMT

I think there are two issues here.

Firstly, the refusal to muzzle. for our staff, if they can't examine or treat an animal safely, we expect them to refuse to treat it. We always try to make any requests to muzzle polite, such as "it's a strange, stressful environment so sometimes they act out of character and bite, especially as I'll be doing things which are very bad manners in dog world". If they still refuse to muzzle, they get asked to come back when they feel they're ready to put a muzzle on.

We fully support our staff if they choose to walk away from a dangerous pet.

Secondly, the abusive client. To us, a good staff member is infinitely more important than any client. I'll always have a chat to a client if they become rude to our staff. I'll take them in to a consult room (if still at the clinic) and have a polite chat. They normally calm down and apologise, as generally there is something underlying the over-reaction. If they have left the clinic, I'll normally try to call them to discuss the issue.

I find most people have an underlying reason for their over-reaction. I've seen it with spouses or kids passing away, business faliures, etc. Sometimes a sympathetic ear is what is needed, and it should be offered.

Of course, some people are just knobs. Those get sacked. They're not worth the stress.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Glenn Hodgson — Wed, 17 May 2017 23:25:42 GMT

Sack unless a goid reason not to. Do like to help those that need help, to a limit though.

How to deal with it... Share with someone and seek conformation that client in the wrong. If they were, they are, then who cares what they say? If you're lucky they tell their friends not to come and see you and you miss out on that entire social circle. :-)

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Utlendigur — Wed, 17 May 2017 23:22:31 GMT

I used to work in a practice where the boss had a tendency to try to appease the more unreasonable, difficult clients, resulting in many clients who learnt that it paid to bully. Employees would try to stick to practice policies (eg on repeat prescription checks, pdsa eligibility, payment at the time) and the client would kick off. The boss would then intervene and "make an exception" or "of course you can have...". Clients loved him, but staff felt like they were being regularly stabbed in the back (especially as they weren't allowed to "make exceptions"). I think if the culture of the practice is supportive towards staff, and fair but firm to clients, the incidence of problems will be much lower to start with, and when it does happen employees are probably going to be able to cope better with it because they know they will be backed up.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Catriona MacIntyre — Wed, 17 May 2017 22:55:28 GMT

We do have notices up about Zero Tolerance of abusive behaviour, and a bit at the end of our practice leaflet stating the same. The few times it really has kicked off, it has often been in front of other clients in the waiting room, who were actually very supportive and stated that they regarded it as a totally unreasonable way to behave.

If it's a one off, I try and remember that just as a client doesn't know or understand what I have been through today, I don't know what is happening with them. No hard and fast rules, it does depend on exactly what happened.

If there are known mental health problems, or "extenuating circumstances", we will try and work round them, but usually with a gentle reminder that we will ALWAYS do our best for their animal, but treating staff badly makes that very difficult to do. We don't put up with it endlessly though, and will take measures such as having more than one member of staff present, or requesting that they look for another practice (often brings things into perspective and elicits an apology and better behaviour, surprisingly).

As a boss, I am more likely to tolerate a bit of verbal or emotional abuse, towards me, but absolutely not towards employees. I feel that employers have a duty of care towards their employees, and if a client is that badly behaved.... they can go somewhere else.

Finally, sounds daft, but I find it really helps to remember that actually, I CAN do without abusive clients. Completely. Our practice is fortunate to have mostly lovely clients who vastly outnumber the demanding/challenging/d*&^head ones.

Remember the clients who were pleased with your work, even if they didn't come right out and say it. Remember the thank you cards. Remember those who ask to see you because they trust you with their much loved pet's care.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Gillian Mostyn — Wed, 17 May 2017 21:29:56 GMT

[quote user="Niall Taylor"]And I don't care if they do have mental health 'issues' - that is their problem, not ours and they need to get lost and sort out their lives not go around making life miserable for everyone else,[/quote]

Differently phrased, but actually the same as what I said.... accept that some people have serious issues but don't let them make their issues your problem!!!! You can't expect these situations to never happen... but you can choose not to let them affect you.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Nicola Lawlor — Wed, 17 May 2017 20:10:53 GMT

This is just horrid to deal with and we all feel distressed when we are put in this sort of situation. Many of these people are just bullies through and through and expect to barge their way verbally with you to get what they want and then feel that they have some valid reason to complain about you and your attitude, often but not exclusively because they dont want to pay.

My attitude is if it needs a muzzle it gets a muzzle. I will be polite (always) and be verbally sympathetic to the fact some owners don't want to use it whilst being firm about what still needs to happen, but ultimately if they don't comply I will refuse to treat their animal as I can not risk the safety of myself or other staff.

Further intimidation will be met with a suggestion that the client calm down as we can not progress the consult without calm. If they carry on they would be asked to leave. I would call the police if needs but but have never gone that far.

It's very hard to do especially if you are not comfortable that a boss would back you up, but know you are in charge of this consult, you can do this without appearing bossy in almost all cases because you always approach with a "we all focus for the good of the pet" approach, but if clients will not listen and the issue is serious, you have to remain in charge and clearly show this - always politely - but don't take crap from people.

I once had a client, he clearly had a major problem with everyone he spoke to me included by the way he spoke to us - we had to complete a course of dressing care after a major orthopaedic op and then planned to sack him. Nearly every time I gave him a firm lecture on the appalling dressing care he had for the dog (think soggy, swollen infected foot to the point at one stage I feared for the leg). On the final day I signed the dog off with glee and he went to the desk and asked for the email address of the boss. I awaited his next complaint and the bosses expected "go away to another vet" response but instead my boss came to me that evening with an email full of praise and enthusiasm for the branch and in particular my attention to the care of his dog. You could have knocked me over with a feather - it was such a completely unexpected situation. Slightly frustratingly we couldn't really justify the "sacking" letter at that time so he remained on the books. Future visits were still difficult face to face despite his kind email, but I think we developed an understanding and not beating around the bush and being very blunt with him (most unlike I would be with other clients) mostly kept the atmosphere acceptable.

I very much agree with the posts previously - you need a boss who will support you and not make you feel like you were the problem. (I've also worked in a clinic like that) If you have a boss like this bail out and find another job. There are plenty of good clinics out there who can help support you properly.

Don't feel bad - it says far more about them than it does about you.

RE: How do you cope/deal with verbal abuse from clients

Linda Filshie — Wed, 17 May 2017 19:50:14 GMT

Not wanting to jinx myself, but I can't recall a single instance of being yelled at by a client since I qualified in 2003 (the only yelling incident at all being a bovine c-section which sadly ended up with dead cow and calf - there was swearing and kicking of walls from the farmer, not directed at me personally albeit he came in to the surgery to apologise later that day).

Have I been very lucky? Is there something about client handling that is helping avoid these situations? Whichever it is I am sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it. I concur with the "sack them" crowd but if your boss is unsupportive I would vote with my feet and find another job.

Coincidentally BSAVA South East is doing cpd with the VDS tonight at the new Surrey vet school. Couldn't make it along but it might be helpful to see if you can find something similar as there are often ways to head these situations off at the pass, so to speak, before they devolve into yelling. But not always - some people are just aresholes, and for those situations I like to remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.