What not to buy your wife for Xmas

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Martin Atkinson — Tue, 03 Jan 2017 09:46:57 GMT

[quote user="Dagmar Steele"]

[quote user="J G Wray"]

Dachshund, "Badger-Dog". Is this evidence of Teutonic humour?

[/quote]

There is no such thing.

[/quote]I once programmed 1966 into the practice flat alarm system as the disarm code for a German locum for a joke. He changed it to 1993 and said, 'Zis is ze year ze Russian linesman died'. Who says Germans don't have a sense of humour.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

J G Wray — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 14:55:22 GMT

[quote user="Dagmar Steele"]Well that's a genuine German word itself ;-) I just made the remark that there ain't no such thing as teutonic humour as , being German myself, I'm pretty much used to being told we don't have any sense of humour whatsoever![/quote]

Which President Bush said " The problem with the French is that they have no word for entrepreneur..."?

It is possible I was playing on this when I asked what the German for Sch...... - British humour.

My son once had to explain his favourite joke to Manfred Scheich ( a man from the South, errr Austria - same thing)

Q. "Manfred, what's invisible and smells of bananas?"

Manfred " I don't know Freddie. I think it's impossible."

A. "Monkey burps"

Manfred - silence

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Julian Earl — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 14:09:16 GMT

[quote user="Dagmar Steele"]There is no such thing[/quote]

I think there is, after all what is German for schadenfreude?

I'm sure there is. I was on an Improve course a few years ago, and one German lady was there and we were talking about what clients say. She laughed and said she told a client,"We have ways of making you pay!", then, "For you, the consultation is over!" Now that was funny!

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Anthony Todd — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 12:49:37 GMT

[quote user="Clare Tapsfield-Wright"]

I've received fork handles this year

[/quote]

Saves electricity too.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Dagmar Steele — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 10:00:40 GMT

[quote user="J G Wray"]

[quote user="Dagmar Steele"]There is no such thing[/quote]

I think there is, after all what is German for schadenfreude?

[/quote]

Well that's a genuine German word itself ;-) I just made the remark that there ain't no such thing as teutonic humour as , being German myself, I'm pretty much used to being told we don't have any sense of humour whatsoever!

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Clare Tapsfield-Wright — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 10:00:35 GMT

I've received fork handles this year

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

J G Wray — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 08:30:59 GMT

[quote user="Dagmar Steele"]There is no such thing[/quote]

I think there is, after all what is German for schadenfreude?

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Dagmar Steele — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 08:28:38 GMT

[quote user="J G Wray"]

Dachshund, "Badger-Dog". Is this evidence of Teutonic humour?

[/quote]

There is no such thing.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

J G Wray — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 08:26:00 GMT

Dachshund, "Badger-Dog". Is this evidence of Teutonic humour?

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Claudia Niehoegen — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 07:17:44 GMT

In Germany they are usually called "Dackel", although "Teckel" exists. It's a contraction of" Dachshund" with "Dachs" meaning "badger".

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Dinu Catilina — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 23:03:08 GMT

[quote user="Evelyn Barbour-Hill"]

Given the general levity and inconsequentiality of this thread, nobody will mind me pointing out that sausage-dogs are called Dachshunds.

[/quote]

I would like to point out that in most countries the breed is called Teckel.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Clive Ansell — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 16:22:29 GMT

[quote user="Clive Ansell"]

I'm building a pair of custom hand built bike wheels for my partner this year, just hope she likes them (she did hint she wanted them). Not sure I'm going to finish them in time, and will probably take them to work next week as I get a gap off during the afternoons.

Last year I bought myself her some Le Creuset kitchenware, which didn't seem to go down too well.

[/quote]

Well, the wheels didn't get finished in time so I bought some locally handmade pottery that I know she likes -seems to have been accepted well.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Evelyn Barbour-Hill — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 16:09:33 GMT

[quote user="Neil Wheadon"] It progressed to Daschunds[/quote]

Given the general levity and inconsequentiality of this thread, nobody will mind me pointing out that sausage-dogs are called Dachshunds.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Lucy Fleming — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 09:26:30 GMT

[quote user="Neil Wheadon"]like 'World travellers' with AJ Hackett bungee T-Shirts on (Bungee experience, you need that T-Shirt don't you ) [/quote]

Hey! A free t-shirt's a free t-shirt, man! (Disregarding the cost of the jump, of course)

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Julian Earl — Thu, 29 Dec 2016 15:36:38 GMT

A few years ago,My wife was not giving me any helpful ideas for what she wanted and just suggested something useful for the house. When she unwrapped the sink plunger, she wasn't impressed! But we are still happily married. I explained the great effort involved in wrapping it up...

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Neil Wheadon — Thu, 29 Dec 2016 13:48:40 GMT

Guess we could flip the question

'What did you get your wife for Christmas?'

Sarah was quite pleased with a daschund keyring. It all started 20 years ago on the tandem when we'd have a competition who could count to 10 of things to see, things like 'World travellers' with AJ Hackett bungee T-Shirts on (Bungee experience, you need that T-Shirt don't you ) It progressed to Daschunds, so for once I spotted one first!!

Neil

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Bob Russell — Thu, 29 Dec 2016 13:39:40 GMT

Few years ago I just stuck a very large bow on the bonnet of her first car! Seemed quite chuffed with that one!

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Dagmar Steele — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 13:29:53 GMT

Thank you Clare!

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Clare Tapsfield-Wright — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 11:55:54 GMT

[quote user="Dagmar Steele"]

Quote yourselves lucky you're able to join the fun - I went down with a nasty stomach bug, no festive, no turkey for me and hubby has to do it all on his own (he's usually doing the majority of the work anyway)

[/quote] oh no ,you poor thing , bunker down and watch box sets with a bucket handy and get well soon.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Clare Tapsfield-Wright — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 11:54:07 GMT

Sorry then Martin, I'm guilty of assumptions incubated by experience. She is a lucky lady and I hope all your clients are lovely and that you have a great Christmas and happy new year. And everyone else on the list of course.

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Dagmar Steele — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 11:48:40 GMT

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Martin Atkinson — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 11:01:33 GMT

[quote user="Clare Tapsfield-Wright"]I could be wrong of course and you might have been brining the turkey, making mince pies, washing up ,keeping in touch with relatives and hoovering[/quote]No just working my butt off 11 hours a day earning the money to make it all possible while she in her happy state of retirement can spend all day shopping, gallivanting around lunching, visiting galleries and stately homes with her 'ladies who lunch ' friends.

PS The turkey, mince pies and everything else will come ready prepared courtesy of M&S or Waitrose and yes I do the washing up!

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Clare Tapsfield-Wright — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 10:03:24 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]

[quote user="Andrew Mellor"]I wasn't suppose to bring it home , I was supposed to wrap it up to be a surprise! - IS IT ME?[/quote]No. Last night I was wrapping up some rather large presents I've bought for my daughters when SHE walked in lambasting me for wasting 'all that paper' as she them proceeded to wrap a dozen smaller ones herself which took a lot more paper in total. Fine then, the f***ing big box her exercise bike came in (as previously reported she did ask for that) can go under the tree in all its brown cardboard nakedness, if she's lucky with a bow and a label. Of course that will be tight, mean, insensitive, thoughtless.......

[/quote] Ah Christmas , that warm fuzzy time of goodwill and family harmony. I am just guessing here but your wife is probably doing everything else that makes Christmas happen Martin while you take two hours to wrap your enormous presents and use up all the paper she went out and bought. I could be wrong of course and you might have been brining the turkey, making mince pies, washing up ,keeping in touch with relatives and hoovering. Apologies if so

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Martin Atkinson — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 09:32:24 GMT

RE: What not to buy your wife for Xmas

Andrew Mellor — Fri, 23 Dec 2016 18:30:07 GMT

THE WIFE as she is know at the surgery asked for and then bought her owner present this year, fair enough I thought -saves me getting any stick- how wrong could I be -It was delivered to the surgery - always someone there- useful for the online shopper, and I took it home and popped it in the office out of harms way.

How insensitive was I ! sorry I said , " I cannot believe you could be so insensitive" -

I wasn't suppose to bring it home , I was supposed to wrap it up to be a surprise! - IS IT ME?