Perspective required

Re: Perspective required

Luca Poddighe — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 11:04:53 GMT

First thing I want to say is don't feel you're alone, more vets than you would like to think get constantly in troubles. It is a difficult job and it is very stressful. I've had a very bad phase of depression 1.5 years ago when my last job wasn't going well, I was employed so my family are my only dependants but they are very important to me. I realize that you may find very difficult now to reach for help but please do so, for yourself because anyone deserves a second and a third chance in life. This new job gave me fresh start that is not gone has I wanted in first instance and I may have to part from it as well. I don't feel that I'm a failure, I will consider new plans if I have to. Even if, at any point, I will have to change job I will not consider myself a failure because I always tried to work at my best. If you need to talk with someone that doesn't know anything and probably cannot help you but will try in his earnest feel free to contact me privately.

Re: Perspective required

Dagmar Steele — Wed, 01 Apr 2015 10:24:44 GMT

Arlo, is there any possibility for you as admin to contact this person to see if they're ok?

Re: Perspective required

Hannah Wynne Richards — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 11:09:29 GMT

Let us know you're still OK We are concerned.

Wynne

Re: Perspective required

Andrew Kent — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 17:43:27 GMT

Hi Anon,

I think the title of your post - perspective needed - shows that you realise you actually have a lot of great stuff going on in your life and just need to take a step back.

Financial worries can be very difficult to see past but there is always a way - and as others have said get professional advice on this to find a workable solution.

Ultimately this is just a job - it sounds like you have a family that love you so I would focus on that!

Good luck - and please let us know if there is anything we can do to help

Andy

Re: Perspective required

ruths — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 16:49:51 GMT

Vbf were very lovely to me when I contacted them some years ago They are a really great organisation - phone them [quote user="Hannah Wynne Richards"]

Go to your doctor - today. Also phone VBF.Is there someone (old school/uni friend?) you were once close to,but who's now 1 step removed, so can take a sympathetic approach to your problems?

Wynne

[/quote]

Re: Perspective required

Hannah Wynne Richards — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 15:42:08 GMT

Go to your doctor - today. Also phone VBF.Is there someone (old school/uni friend?) you were once close to,but who's now 1 step removed, so can take a sympathetic approach to your problems?

Wynne

Re: Perspective required

Michael Woodhouse — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 14:41:45 GMT

I too saw the original post before it was deleted.

I think all I will say is there is absolutely a way out of this that won't leave you broke financially or broken mentally.

Come back, create an anon account of your own and people will help. I'm sure they will.

Re: Perspective required

Dagmar Steele — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 14:37:18 GMT

Please please please get professional help!!! Your situation is way too much to handle for anyone! There is no shame in failure, we all have failed in one place or the other and there is always a way out! Even if you're completely broke financially you can have a happy life again. You don't believe in this right now but I know it is true because I felt the pain before!

Please don't be so selfish to just take your life. You will be gone but your kids will have to live with it for all their lives. Rest assured they will carry this burden for the rest of their lives and it will have a huge impact on them. In contrast they won't give a shit in the long run if your family will not be rich and not have a house. Happiness does not depend on money, especially not for kids!!!!!

You did the right thing in telling someone what's going on, a very brave step. Do the next one, call the help line, get into your GP'S practice now, don't wait for an appointment, just get in there and say the words "I need help now"!!!! Think of your kids if you can't do it for yourself....

Re: Perspective required

Bob Russell — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 14:26:46 GMT

Did not see the original post but life can hit some apparently devastating lows. There is a steady climb back which can appear daunting at first gets progressively easier, more fun and challenging in a good way. Absolutely get help, there is no shame and everything to gain by getting it!

I would not hesitate to walk out of my practice, declare bankruptcy and leave others to clean up the mess. I would be sad for employees but would get some consolation from the fact that I had offered employment up to now.

If things are that bad then my first response would be to plonk myself at the GP's and say I am broken, fix me! It will not be the first time someone arrived in trouble.

Divorce lawyers and HMRC are the two worst culprits and I would be bugg*red if either would be allowed to beat me. Nearly got to bankruptcy during a divorce but ended up taking a degree of pleasure in telling them they were welcome to 100% of nothing!

Re: Perspective required

holly1234 — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 13:49:27 GMT

OP it sounds like your feeling completely hopeless about your life just now. Being faced with the pressures you have been I can see why you might end up feeling that way. But for anyone on this forum, it's easy to see that killing yourself is not the only way out of how you are feeling right now. Please do not decide anything without confiding in someone. Is there anyone in your life that you feel you could speak to?

Re: Perspective required

Niall Connell — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 13:49:04 GMT

Dear Friend,

You've deleted your post but you did absolutely the right thing by reaching out. Sometimes problems seem insurmountable, especially as you're thinking of them all the time and having difficulty sleeping. I totally agree with the others, Call the Confidential Vet Helpline 0303 040 2551. There is no shame in needing help sometimes. The VBF are super and they have tons of experience along with experience of financial issues. Your health and that of your family is paramount. It might not seem like it just now, but all this can be fixed.

Re: Perspective required

Sammy82 — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 13:34:14 GMT

Please please search professional help, through your GP and call the vet helpline (there is a flyer for it in the Vet Record that came today) and/or BVA helpline. Your family and friends will support you, don't shy away from sharing your worries with them.

Also get professional financial advise for your business. Other users might be able to advise you on good financial advisers (I think there is another thread active about this at the moment).

You can even send an anonymous email to the vet helpline https://helpline.vetlife.org.uk www.vetlife.org 0303 0402551

Stay strong, your family needs you more than any money in the world!

Re: Perspective required

Martin Atkinson — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 13:33:27 GMT

We will all try to sympathetic to you plight and I would say you're not a failure, there is no shame in just walking out of the practice and going bankrupt at least it will get out of an endless spiral and give you time to re-assess your situation and get your life back. Above all you need professional help you MUSTcontact your doctor Samaritans or BVA helpline or all of them.