Patients with perfect timing

Re: Patients with perfect timing

ruths — Mon, 10 Nov 2014 07:26:44 GMT

My dog has a Christmas jumper- well, it doesn't have reindeer or baubles ( he's been neutered) but it's ok the Christmas ilk. He's just been clipped for winter and he's cold so I gave it to him early -))

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Martin Atkinson — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 18:31:44 GMT

[quote user="Mark Hedberg"]Lost a bet, did she? [/quote] Quite possibly but my vanity wouldn't allow me to think that!

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Mark Hedberg — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 17:28:37 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]

Another nurse walked into the rest room and just threw me onto the bed and started snogging me then walked out as if nothing had happened.

[/quote] Lost a bet, did she?

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Stephen Courtney — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 15:59:18 GMT

Christmas jumpers are fresh on the shelves at Pets at Home, along with other seasonal goodies.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Michael Woodhouse — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 11:19:27 GMT

Turning this thread around - I've just done my 3 weekly Saturday morning surgery and a dog turned up wearing a CHRISTMAS JUMPER. I suggested it was a little early.

Terrible timing.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Michael Woodhouse — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 11:18:10 GMT

[quote user="Gillian Mostyn"]Maybe he could charm the knickers off a nun..[/quote]

It's allowed, so long as you don't get in the habit........

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Gillian Mostyn — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 11:14:24 GMT

Or maybe he is a dreadful flirt and giving these women the wrong impression.... I've known a few vets ( male and female) that use this tactic with clients! Maybe he could charm the knickers off a nun..

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Martin Atkinson — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 11:11:57 GMT

[quote user="Christopher Saul"]You must be a jolly good looking chap Martin; I have had no such approaches at all in my time[/quote]Well of course I wouldn't be so vain as to say it myself Christopher. That's why I use a photograph of a tortoise because of my modesty and I don't want to make the women swoon - nothing to do with 'one foot in the grave'!

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Christopher Saul — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 10:40:20 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]

Now I start to recall these incidents there are quite a few: The same client who asked me to look for ringworm on her breasts asked me round for dinner with the immortal words, 'don't worry it will be just you, me and my pussy' - but I've told you all that one before. One client inscribed 'I love you' into the consulting room table when I went out to fetch something and continued to harass me for years with Valentine's and Christmas cards before trying to corner me at the client's Christmas party. Another called me out on a house visit to see the cat which was on the bed so I had to crawl onto the bed to examine it whereupon she she threw herself semi-naked next to me.

A dog groomer in one practice asked me I'd like look at her nipples to see how the dog hair accumulated in there (there was a nymphomaniac nurse in the same practice too who didn't need such a 'subtle' chat-up line)! A nurse asked me to look at the ingrowing hair follicle on her leg - it was actually in her groin! Another nurse walked into the rest room and just threw me onto the bed and started snogging me then walked out as if nothing had happened. And like many I suspect I've been chatted up by more nurses and clients in more conventional ways than you can shake a stick at.

Is it a perk or a curse of the job? I guess it depends on how you look at it.

[/quote] You must be a jolly good looking chap Martin; I have had no such approaches at all in my time

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Martin Atkinson — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 10:10:08 GMT

[quote user="bob lehner"]Unfortunately she had missed the pretty obvious fact that he was as gay as Mr Gay from Gayesville. [/quote]I thought women were a bit more astute at spotting these things than us blokes so it surprises me that she missed the signs. That said women do find gay men attractive as they are usually good looking and very nice people with none of the macho-man hang-ups or trying to get in their pants or the competition from other girls and make super no-risk friends. Us heterosexual alpha males with two small brains between our legs and an even smaller one in our skulls fail to appreciate this sometimes! So perhaps she just wanted a friend. On the other hand maybe she thought it was just a passing phase and he would be lured by her undoubted feminine wiles.

PS this was said with no offence implied or intended.to any gay men and all women on here!

Re: Patients with perfect timing

bob lehner — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 09:53:49 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]

No, quite honestly I assume the same thing happens to all of us, we are after all in general an eligible bunch - what you could call a good catch'!

[/quote]

Indeed - but can have some amusing consequences.

One of our horsey clients, an ex-page 3 girl - very Essex, very orange, very surgically enhanced - took a real shine to our new young male assistant vet. She was forever asking him to go and look at her horse and generally coming on to him.

Unfortunately she had missed the pretty obvious fact that he was as gay as Mr Gay from Gayesville. Poor lad had a terrible job fending her off - in the end he just had to spell it out to her word for word.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Hannah Wynne Richards — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 09:13:28 GMT

How on earth did you cope with euthanasias?

Wynne

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Stigen — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 21:11:31 GMT

[quote user="alex gough"]

The toy dog in the bosom of the buxom client is an issue from time to time, and I decline to start delving - can you imagine the heartache if you got involved in a complaint of sexual assault for touching in the wrong place? It's not inconceivable. Anyone remember the vet who did a house visit, and when the lady owner said she had no money, he said I'm sure we could come to some arrangement. He was thinking payment plan, she was thinking something else, complaint ensues...

[/quote]

I would`nt be touching her bossom even if I wanted to. This consult room was not like any consult room. It was a so called "open-plan" where one of the "walls" was a floor-to-roof window to the street outside where People were walking past. Grabbing them boobs would have been a very Public affair.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Alex Gough — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 16:57:56 GMT

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Martin Atkinson — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 16:55:37 GMT

[quote user="alex gough"]The toy dog in the bosom of the buxom client is an issue from time to time, and I decline to start delving - can you imagine the heartache if you got involved in a complaint of sexual assault for touching in the wrong place? [/quote]True and in times past I would not have worried but now I would probably get a nurse in as chaparone if I thought there was some funny business going on. Plus I'm way to old to be tempted by what's on offer these days.

PS that's weird - how did my reply get in front of Alex's post I was replying to?

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Anthony Todd — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 16:39:10 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]There are of course exceptions![/quote]

Some of us have it and some of us don't.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Martin Atkinson — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 13:23:17 GMT

[quote user="Anthony Todd"]I can honestly say, in 37 years actually dealing with clients the closest I got [looking back] was a visit where a lovely girl offered me a brandy at about midday.[/quote]Well I did say 'in general we're an eligible bunch' Anthony. There are of course exceptions!

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Anthony Todd — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 13:07:06 GMT

[quote user="Martin Atkinson"]No, quite honestly I assume the same thing happens to all of us,[/quote]

I can honestly say, in 37 years actually dealing with clients the closest I got [looking back] was a visit where a lovely girl offered me a brandy at about midday.

And I said "no thanks".

Too late for Lynx or libido now!

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Martin Atkinson — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 12:28:50 GMT

[quote user="Gillian Mostyn"]

Martin... CLIENTS Christmas party????

Oh, and maybe you should stop wearing that Lynx body spray. It is just not fair to the poor women around you who seem to find you so irresistible....

[/quote]Yup, the nurses decided to hold a Christmas party for the puppy party clients then it developed into a party for the bonded clients for several years and it was very popular. We eventually gave up when there was change of a nurses and the next wave couldn't be bothered. Also one client complained they hadn't been invited and another that the only reason they had was because they spent so much money. Damned if you do and if you don't.

PS I don't need Lynx! No, quite honestly I assume the same thing happens to all of us, we are after all in general an eligible bunch - what you could call a good catch'!

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Gillian Mostyn — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 12:14:44 GMT

Martin... CLIENTS Christmas party????

Oh, and maybe you should stop wearing that Lynx body spray. It is just not fair to the poor women around you who seem to find you so irresistible....

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Martin Atkinson — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 11:24:54 GMT

Is it a perk or a curse of the job? I guess it depends on how you look at it.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Sammy82 — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 11:21:35 GMT

When I was doing a locum I spotted an appointment for a dog that had eaten a tampon. Preparing myself for an akward consult it was luckily seen by the other vet. Apparently it wasn't the first time it had done it.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Bob Russell — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 10:51:51 GMT

Never had a problem dealing with an ample bosom. Adds a bit of spice to life and I am pretty unshockable.

Only exception was being able to identify a 'true blonde' when the fashion was for extremely low cut jeans! Far, far worse when mother and young daughter are similarly attired and the pet is small enough to go on the consulting room table!

Strangely the only time I have felt uncomfortable with dress code!!

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Gillian Mostyn — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 10:35:58 GMT

As a woman, I have sympathy with male vets who have to delve into a bosom to try to examine a pet. But a female has it worse. It is remarkable how many men hold their dogs between their legs, meaning I end up spending a great deal of time bent down/ knelt with my face nearer to his nether regions than I would like. I'm sure they do it on purpose.

Re: Patients with perfect timing

Gillian Mostyn — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 10:31:47 GMT

Yeah... Have had a few odd moments. Being asked to look at a lady's crotch to see if the red marks were indeed flea bites as she didn't believe her doctor....,being shown a client's new colostomy bag and stoma as he was so pleased with how neat it was....... Being asked out on a date by a client's mum, as he was too shy to ask (question accompanied by red roses- whole situation was mortifying)...... And the inevitable 'splitting the pants moment' when a man lifts his dog. Makes life interesting though.