The things clients say...

RE: The things clients say...

mjoyce — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 21:20:05 GMT

Or as an elderly man once told me he had brought his dog in to be 'shovelled'

Well I replied 'you will be wanting it doing right then'

RE: The things clients say...

Andy Elliott — Fri, 11 Oct 2019 08:16:45 GMT

Anyone else seen an Unbiblical hernia?

RE: The things clients say...

bob lehner — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 20:36:02 GMT

Rather posh elderly lady comes in today with small dog and husband in tow...

O: 'He's having problems with his anal warts'.

Me: 'Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that - but are we talking about the dog or your husband?''

O: (Gives me a withering look) 'The dog of course - I don't know anything about my husband's anus'.

Me: 'Ah fine - would that perhaps be the anal glands ....??'

O: ' Oh yes - silly me...'

RE: The things clients say...

Julie Innes — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 08:44:56 GMT

I had one in yesterday, diagnosed the day before as back pain by my (younger) colleague. Owner decided the diagnosis was incorrect (despite bringing the dog in for pain), as her friend told her the dog had "a blockage". Came in with said friend who told me the dog looked like his mother did when she was dying of diverticulitis! No GI signs, nothing, but apparently her facial expression was the same.....

(Dog had a sore back)

RE: The things clients say...

Gillian Mostyn — Wed, 04 Sep 2019 21:03:23 GMT

I have been doing a few breeding licenses and the guy from the council who I do them with keeps asking breeders how they feed and house bitches during whelping and laceration. It never seems to be an appropriate time to point out it is called lactation without looking like a smart arse. It is driving me nuts.

RE: The things clients say...

Mark Hedberg — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 10:47:20 GMT

[quote user="Marni Miller"]

I had a client who requested more “Fuckithalmic” for his dog’s eyes. I explained it was pronounced with a soft “c” but I took great delight in continuing to call it Fuckithalmic myself. I was quite upset when it got rebranded as Isathal.

[/quote]

That's brilliant!

RE: The things clients say...

Marni Miller — Sun, 01 Sep 2019 23:10:40 GMT

RE: The things clients say...

Chris Geddes — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 12:03:31 GMT

Had an owner of a diabetic dog who kept dipsticks at home come in because her dog had croutons in his urine. Conjured up an interesting mental image.

RE: The things clients say...

Clare Tapsfield-Wright — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:21:22 GMT

Client once complained because my partner had diagnosed his dog’s lameness being due to ” a slim panatella in his knee“ . ” does he think I’m stupid”

RE: The things clients say...

Julie Innes — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 08:19:27 GMT

On a similar vein, I have lots of animals that get "Advocaat" every month, which I always think of as a Christmas tipple.

RE: The things clients say...

Lesley Strong — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 22:30:43 GMT

She was after nexgard. I've also had someone in to collect their Vileda tablets (Vidalta) but I assume that was because it mopped up T4 !

Not forgetting,of course, getting the cay spaded or neutralised

RE: The things clients say...

Lucy Fleming — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:42:35 GMT

Nexgard?

RE: The things clients say...

Noweia — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 17:22:48 GMT

[quote user="Lesley Strong"]

Client came in the other day to pick up her Netflix tablets

[/quote]

What tablets were they actually?

RE: The things clients say...

Lesley Strong — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 16:44:36 GMT

Client came in the other day to pick up her Netflix tablets

RE: The things clients say...

Edward Jones — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 14:30:39 GMT

I take a blood sample whilst the client steadies the dog. Client: "Good boy!", Me: "Thanks!"

RE: The things clients say...

bob lehner — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 09:52:32 GMT

Appointment booked for me y'day: 'Owner says dog has burst its gall bladder - but I think she means its anal gland'....

Fortunately the latter was indeed the case.

RE: The things clients say...

Sam — Tue, 09 Apr 2019 16:41:12 GMT

A client was asked if he wished to have a follow up appointment to check his dog's sore penis..... "no" said the client "I am just going to suck it and see"

RE: The things clients say...

Julie Innes — Mon, 25 Mar 2019 08:32:08 GMT

I had an odd question last week- trying to explain spayed bitch incontinence to a client. At the end of my explanation he said "could it have been something she ate?" back to the start...

RE: The things clients say...

Busybee — Sat, 23 Mar 2019 20:39:18 GMT

Had given a client some hibiscrub to treat her dog's skin problem. She comes back for a check up today and says "I've been putting the hibiscus on twice daily like you said"......

RE: The things clients say...

Claudia Niehoegen — Wed, 24 Aug 2016 13:52:56 GMT

Cat came in for an examination last night.

Vet: He has got gingivitis.

Client: How did he get that, is it because he is ginger?

RE: The things clients say...

Hannah Wynne Richards — Fri, 19 Aug 2016 08:19:13 GMT

I hope she hasn't had children................she would have been rather niffy by the end of 9 months!

Wynne

RE: The things clients say...

Alistair Graham-Evans — Fri, 19 Aug 2016 03:30:24 GMT

Used to think there was no such thing as a stupid question until a client asked if she could bath her pregnant bitch - she was worried in case she drowned the puppies.

RE: The things clients say...

Clive Ansell — Thu, 18 Aug 2016 22:12:40 GMT

Absolute blockbuster tonight;

woman brings her dog in having just eaten a 2cm cube of rodenticide. She brings a large container half full of blue poison cubes with her, and says

woman: "she ate one of these except it was an orange one"

me: but these are all blue, so was it a different one, a different poison?

woman: No, it was one of these, but an orange one.

Me: was it from a different container? a different source? we really need to know, it is important.

woman: yes of course it is from one of the neighbours.

me: Well, can you find out what they are, what they are called, and ideally bring in the container?

woman: No, we don't speak to each other, and I don't know which neighbour anyway.

RE: The things clients say...

Clive Ansell — Thu, 18 Aug 2016 21:59:18 GMT

[quote user="Utlendigur"]I always liked the idea of treating fleas with Doc Martins - each time a client says that's what they use, I have a vision of them frantically stamping on the fleas[/quote]

I always have a vision of Martin Clunes chasing them around the room.

RE: The things clients say...

Utlendigur — Thu, 18 Aug 2016 21:37:08 GMT

[quote user="Kay Varley"]

Man brings his litter of pug puppies in. "Are you worming them with anything?" I enquire. "Yes that stuff from you, what's it called, pedicure".

[/quote]

I always liked the idea of treating fleas with Doc Martins - each time a client says that's what they use, I have a vision of them frantically stamping on the fleas